I'm a people watcher!

No twelve step program needed. One thing I have always been drawn to is people. We all live our lives within the circles we interact with. But there are so many we go past every day who have their own stories and lives.....interacting within their own circles, and so on, and so on.

I have always been (sometimes overly) observant of those around me. I "see" all the drivers around me when I drive. I study the people who wait in lines with me. Just about anywhere you find people gathered, you find this people watcher.(me) Probably why I love Blog stalking, we all have unique and different lives and it is fascinating to me to read just how different they are and where they are similar.

The crazy part is I am not a overly social person myself. If I have reason to interact, I learn the names of who I am taking to(whether it is the attendant or waiter), and I speak directly and can carry on a conversation. But that having been said, if there is no reason to speak to someone, I don't! I do not feel awkward with silence. Sometimes I actually like to see the reactions of those who are obviously bothered by silence, such as when waiting for a bus with someone.

So anyway, I found myself on the university campus this week. Trying to get everything in order for this coming semester. It was quite exciting to walk around this campus, getting lost in the large crowds that were taking breaks from or studying for finals. As I walked through the crowded student body, the people watcher in me took it all in.

Some things I noticed were that while there were definitely VERY young people everywhere, I was not as out of place as I would have thought. There were people about my age and even "many" who were older. :-) While I was very deliberate with what I needed to accomplish, I noticed at least a dozen oddities that piqued my interest.

First off, what is this crazy new fad with making huge holes in our ear lobes with buttons, coins etc? It is more prevalent than I thought.

I also noticed the "air heads" sound the same as they did when I was their age! This made me smile at how self important they tend to carry themselves.

I saw people together that made no sense and made me wonder how a couple so different could get together.

Just like in high school and when I was first in college, the cliques are still present:

The all Asian club had some kind of party going on in one section of the quad.
In another section there were the jocks, or at least those who thought they were jocks. They dressed like athletes and tossed a ball back and forth at least.

There were two or three very....um....well...nerdy..for a lack of a better word, sitting around their lap tops discussing quantum physics or something equally mind numbing.

Bikes, bikes, and more bikes. And every kind of bike you could imagine. I saw bikes that probably cost several hundred dollars if not more. I also saw bikes that looked like they should be taken behind the barn and shot.

Beards! Does every young college guy who can grow facial hair think that it is his duty to grow out fuzz? And while I have nothing against beards.........cmon!

And I think skateboards are back. But they have grown an extra foot long and resemble a small surf board now

I will never have to worry about fitting into any particular fashion sense. In fact many people wore what made no sense at all. I counted at least 10 "Fats Domino" style hats and even a tie over a t-shirt.

Well, I could go on. It is not quite as entertaining as people watching at Walmart. Emma, that musing banterer, has shared numerous walmart sitings. And if you do make a siting, report it immediately.

Number one thing I brought back from my outing(other than I am done and only waiting on University) "This school brings in a lot of money based on how much it is going to cost me per semester multiplied by the number I just happened to see while I was there. Talk about mind boggling.

Well, I have typed aimlessly. What is going on with all of you? Trying anything new?

Done any good people watching?

Have a great day!

Dear Mr./Mrs Creditor:

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas. I know it is not politically correct to say Merry Christmas, but who cares? Not me. Anyway, I wanted to write you this quick letter to express my well wishes. Over the last few months I feel we have grown very close. I do not have any other friends who call me as much or as often as you do.

At first we talked all the time. You would ask me to make those minimal payments to keep your bosses off my back. You were so looking after me. You almost cared when you would call just two days after receiving that payment asking for more. You just could not go very long without talking to me and do not think I have not appreciated you eagerness.

I am sorry that I have become so busy that we have not had the pleasure of talking to each other as of late. Taking all the extra work I can for even the pennies I am offered is a must at this time. And I don't mean to be rude but sometimes you call at the most inconvenient times. And why don't you ever leave a message?

Unfortunately I think our relationship may be in jeopardy. I tried to send your bosses a letter explaining the situation to see if we could work something out but it seems that it was not received well. Apparently somehow they know of a way to feed a large family, keep them sheltered AND pay large payments to them on an income a little over a third of what it was last year.

I must say that I am a (stalker) of honor and want nothing more than to pay my debts. After all ,they are my debts. But our situation, through no fault of mine or my spouse, is tragically dire. And from talking to others, we are not the only ones going through this. But now you had to go and get lawyers involved. That is just not a nice way to treat the friend you have been calling for over eight months now. If we go down this road I may just have to go down the dark and ominous road of bankruptcy. If that happens I feel you will stop calling me and then what would I do with all that free time?

Hope this letter finds you well and did not take you away from anything important such as dinner or work or time with your family.

Your friend,

(Blogstalker)

Running Away!

From those extra pounds I gained Thanksgiving day weekend that is! I am putting this out there for all to see so that I will stay motivated. I have exercised every day this week so far and while I may have only lost what I gained that blessed turkey day, so far I FEEL GREAT!

Anyway, I recently alluded to the fact that there might be a bit of an announcement from me. Unfortunately for some of you, I am not revealing who I am in real life(mmmmwahhahahaha)....where was I, oh yeah, I am starting in on something that I hope will be a real good thing for me and my family.

For some of you newbies out there, back in March our family found itself with ZERO income coming in and no jobs. We are a fairly large family and it was devastating. Spouse and I are doing everything we can and have cut everything we could. (including spell check it would seem at times, dang wireless keyboards with low batteries!)
We are working at jobs that pay nothing close to what we were used to. BUT WE ARE WORKING! And right now feel very fortunate for our family and for the lessons to be learned from how little one can survive on.

Don't get me wrong, we have an income at 60% of what it was last year. We have had to give up the "nice" vehicles and kids make lunches I think sometime they are ashamed of. Anywho....not where I was going with this...........

New life! I, like some of my stalkers, have decided to go back to school. I was accepted into the school program I wanted and was put on a waiting list in April but since two semesters have come and gone without being "called up", well I am taking a change of direction.

I figured I would do what I have always wanted to do. Turns out I have all my credits needed to apply for the program next fall. I can take some class this spring for some additional certifications which will help me in my possible new career. I just hope I can get financial aid and scholarships, because without that, this dream is dead.

I initially only qualify for a very piddly amount of aid because it is based on our family income last year........WHATEVER!

So, AM I SCARED? You betcha, and excited and nervous but anxious etc, etc, etc.

I asked in a post early in the year whether you could teach an old dog new tricks. Lets hope so!


What do you think stalkers?

Who else is taking new directions in their life?

Have a great day!

Team Blogstalker

Okay everyone, I know that everybody has picked one side or the other in the Twilight movie series. I guess I can understand it a little. It is the struggle we all either went through, wished we went through or hope to go through. And that is two people fighting over the chance to be with you forever. Ahhhh, who wouldn't love that scenario?

Well, I just don't get how out of control it has all gotten. I did go see "New Moon" and liked it. Now, I am one who read the books and liked them. You true blue die hard fans don't be upset but they were not fantastic. They were written for the teen girl audience and so they were drawn out, slow and super sappy. But that does not mean they were not full of interesting plot lines and fantastic spins on the vampire genre.

So, the movie was about what I would have expected. There were no surprises and I thought it was actually better than the first one in production quality and action. There is a scene...sorry this is spoiler.....I mean really, Jacob tore his shirt off and flexes a little too show offy. But the reaction from some older mom in the audience made it all worthwhile. (I think she required fans to cool off).

What I don't understand is the absolute anti-twilight attitude most teenage boys seem to have. I mean, It IS a vampire movie and there is blood and death(a little) and come on, the Voltaire, awesome! I just don't get it! It is as if teenage boys have to judge their manhood by how bad they trash the books and the movies relating to the twilight series..........whatever! I had to laugh as the movie ended and a young teenage boy runs out of the theater screaming about how awful it was to sit through with his family. Now that did not cause us all to notice that he was there. DUH! And the older teenage boys with their dates who said they needed to go watch some football to reclaim their manliness.....okay, now this was at lest funny and clever....and who wouldn't want to watch a little football?

All in all, when weighing in on the whole team Jacob and team Edward, I choose neither. I am happy with me and who I am and do not need to pick either one. And anyway, haven't all these kids read the books, we all know who wins! hehe

So hey, Team Blogstalker shirts available Saturday! Order yours now!

Have a great day!

Perspective!

AS I sometimes lay down at night I have been prone to self pity. I do not need to go into too much detail as many of you know that we have been suffering financially for the last year. It has been too easy to lay awake at night and feel so bad about all that I have lost or may lose.

And then I think of my ancestors, and some of yours. We have it so much better than so many ever did. I have read accounts of my own predecessors who didn't even have running water. There were times in my own fathers lifetime that an outhouse was normal.

My dad lived for a time in a two bedroom home with dirt floors and there were 6 kids. And here I am thinking I have it so rough, just because we lost a job and a vehicle etc.

I read of parents burying their babies in shallow graves. I then hear about a brother shot to death over some land rights. Couples separated for months at a time because there is no work at home.

Yes, I have so much to be thankful for. All my children are fairly healthy and I have an awesome spouse who somehow puts up with me.

So, with perspective, LIFE IS GOOD!

With that being said, I want to spotlight another awesome blogger who stalks me every now and again. If you get a chance go check out MISS KRIS. Tell her I sent you and give her some comment love.
I loved this post, Read it and tell me where you are from.

She is also a very talented poet, please go here and read some of her awesome stuff.

And just when you thought you knew who MISS KRIS was, here are 20 questions that really tell us who she is! I hope you had a great time getting to know this fellow blog stalker.

And as always, HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Happy day and SPOTLIGHT!

Happy Day!

Why you ask? or maybe you didnt ask. Anyway, I had some good news today when I went to check on some possibilities on my future. For those of you who may be newer to my blog, My family income has crashed. Because of lay offs and work now which is apprciated but not very high in the pay, we bring home 40% of the income we were bringing home.

That is not an exagerated figure and we have had to adjust to a hard reality of life. A life of weighing needs vs. wants. For example, we want shoes with no holes in them but we need food on the table. Anyway we have found ourselves doing without so much that we thought we had to have.

This has been traumatic at times. Everyone in this family has had a time when the lack of money has been heartwrenching at worst and inconvenient at best.

So we have had to re-evaluate the direction in career and life in general. We have had some life changing trials and blessings because of them. I hope we are passing the tests we are up against. We are closer as a family for sure.

I am not ready to reveal what is going on because I have to talk to another person first, but hopefully that will be soon. It is a boost to my confidence that there will be a better future and it is exciting to boot! The musing banterer (inside joke for some) has some idea of where this could be going.

So, that was a little long winded, I appologize but I had an entirely different idea for this post. Guess I just can't keep things inside. I know that I do not post nearly as much as I would like to. I do not visit all your blogs with the kind of frequency as I would like. And I leave comments even less. And so in turn I have lost followers. Albeit fringe followers with finiky tastes maybe looking for something different, but they have left al the same.

No crying here, but I have been sittingon an idea for the last week or so. Because we all connect as bloggers, we have this kind of network with each other. But not all of your followers know each other. Neither do mine.

And I have some of the best followers ever! I want to start spotlighting from time to time some of you awesome bloggers. If you know them already, awesome. If you don't, spend some time getting to know them.

Today I am going to spot one of my first blog followers. Her name is Rhonda and you can read some ofher posts in the followng post selections:

First off she tells us what her Kids have taught her

Then, you really need to read WHO AM I? Itis a real self look into herself as a blogger. You may want to read more of her adventures at the SITScation or whatever that thing was that I didnt go to! (couldnt reveal myself now could I?)

A good way to finish up is reading her funny post/poem about her Family.

Check her out. And I am going to do this a little more frequently, lets ll get to know each other a little better! Branch out andfind new readers for our blogs!

Have a great day Stalkers!

Not too late.

Okay you procrastinators out there, get out your calenders. It is getting close and closer to the end of the year. What does that mean? Christmas and thanksgiving? Yes, but what I want to talk about are the resolutions you made at the end of last year and the first of this year.

How did you do? Did you start but not finish the goal? Did you achieve your goal only to sabotage yourself? I will freely admit that my biggest goal just blew up in my face. Here it is November and I am the same weight I was last January. Oh FRUIT! (inside joke)

Anyway, I decided to do something about it. My running never did get back to "habit". I was told it takes 21 days to make something a habit. So, I am digging in and hitting the pavement. The past two weeks have been stepping stones. Two weeks ago i ran 3 days, two miles each. Last week I ran 4 times 2 miles twice and 3 miles twice. So far this week I have ran 3 times at 3 miles each run. I must say I am feeling better.

My goal is to continue to eat sensible but to try and not obsess with the scale but how I feel when I consistently run. The weight will come off as I make this thing a habit.

Wish me luck! Now i have gone and posted to the world so no going back, right?

So, how have you done with YOUR resolutions?

New beginning and Answers?

Today was the first day of the rest........BLAH BLAH BLAH. It was not all that big a deal but was a change none the less. Today I started a new job. I am not making more money and I consider it a lateral move.......... but there are some perks.

I will now be in closer proximity to the house and kids if they should need me. I am close enough that the gas I will save will be like getting a raise. YAY ME! So anyway, the best reason is a selfish reason. THERE IS A QT WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE! Seriously this is a perk. I love the place. 30 choices of beverage, fatty foods and candy.....oh, and gas, clean bathrooms etc..

Do you feel like I do on first days? Are you back in first grade or the first day of high school?
Hoping you look cool, but like your not trying to look cool? Too funny, but it is true.

It is almost like a first date. Bear with me on this. When you go on a first date, you are so concerned on how you look in your jeans. You worry yourself about how your hair looks. Everything has to be perfect. Usually you eat more politely and maybe even pay attention to what your date is saying and make some clever comments that make you seem so witty. Then fast forward one year and you are getting take out in some "comfy" clothes and your hair, who cares? Anyone.....?

Well, I happen to be that person who tries to be the perfect student but not the brown nosed nerd at the front of the class. (these analogies are getting out of hand) Well, anyway, I am working with some good people(for a first date at least). Hope it holds true.

On to what else I wanted to write about. Do you remember the dream I told you about in the last post? Well, I don't see that it is very connected but something happened. I have a good friend. This friend has been fighting a cancer for a little over a year. I talk to this friend every now and then and we have gone out to catch up and enjoy some different activities. I had turned down an invite to go with this friend somewhere about a month ago because of some different family commitments. I left messages a few times since and texted but never got a response.

It was not like we were needy or that we texted often so I thought nothing of it. Well, 2 days after my last post I was talking to a fellow friend who still worked with them. When I asked how they were doing there was silence. The silence was followed by an apology for me not having heard that my friend had passed away.
-----SHOCK--------

I was then informed that the funeral was one week previous. Again ----SHOCK----

It is not like this friends spouse had any obligation to tell me. I was certainly not "best" friends with them, but not one person (we share several acquaintances) let me know and i feel as guilty as heck that I did not keep in better touch and make sure i ws on a calling list or something.

GUILTY>>>>>>>>>GUILTY>>>>>>>GUILTY

Why do I feel so guilty?

What does this have to do with my dream, if anything?

Just thinking aloud......Have a great day!

I had a dream!

What do our dreams mean?
I am going to share something very personal. Something I do not usually do here in this format to be sure. But I feel strongly about this and figured it is not like identifying info or anything and would really like to talk about it.

So here it goes; I had a dream the other night. This was not a dream like the type of dream I usually have had. Usually my dreams can seem real, but good or bad, they end and I find myself either wishing it had not ended or glad I woke up.

This dream was as real as any dream could possibly be. It was so real I have a part of my brain that wonders if it was a glimpse into the future. (and I did not watch "flash forward" right before bed! lol) Let me give a little background. Several family members and people close to me have succumbed to cancer in the past 10 years. Cancer is an evil menace and I do not take the mention of it lightly. I do not joke about things like this and so this dream is freaking me out.

Again, this dream felt very real, as if it really happened to me. I went to a doctor because I had a lot of pain in my side or something. I must of had some things checked out prior to this doctor visit because the dream was about the conversation with the doctor.

He sat and took a deep breath. Then he proceeded to tell me I had a large tumor. It was larger than anything he had ever seen before and was amazed I had not had more problems prior to coming in about it. He said it was so advanced that there were not a lot of options but proceeded to go over them with me anyway.

The rest of the day(in the dream) is still so clear to me. Spouse and I decided that with not much of a chance of survival, the best thing to do would be to make the most of the time I had left. It would be better than being sick the rest of my life just to extend it a little while. It was the scariest thing I have ever been a part of. I am not ready to leave my family. The emotional drain of that day, the day that didn't even happen, has been weighing on me a lot. Everything that I have not done yet in this life flashed in front of my eyes. I thought of everything that I have not experienced with my children yet. There are still stages of life I have not reached and experienced. But what makes me any better than the thousands who die every year who can say the same things?


And then I am awake.............................at the end of that day........................................like I just woke up back in time before it happened.

Very X-Files-ish wouldn't you say?

Well, I just had to write it down. If you have any ideas please share them. I am not fatalistic but am still pretty weirded out by it.

Have you ever had a dream that was so real you can still remember every detail of it to this day? What was it about? Did it change the way you looked at life or how you lived?

Thanks for your comments and.........Have a great day!

$10,000 giveaway

So, did the title catch your eye? Nothing like a little bait to increase the traffic to your blog right? lol

So, no I am not giving away any money. Heck, I am not giving away anything. But since you are here anyway, why not take a minute and humor an old blogger.(not booger)

As I have done frequently in life, i have imagined what I would do with lots and lots of money if I....

• A. Won the lottery


• B. Had a rich relative die and leave me lots of money


• C. Came up with a million dollar idea that some super rich person bought


• and so on and so forth

It has always been fun and I think i would be quite the responsible money handler just given the chance. I have heard that money corrupts and that I would just blow it anyway, but hey, give me the chance to prove you wrong. I know i do not need money to be happy....BUT IT WOULDN'T HURT!

So my question today is. What would you do with $10,000 if it came to you out of the blue with no strings attached? I know this is not an easy question to answer. And since I wouldn't ask you fine stalkers to answer anything I was not willing to answer myself....here it goes

first off, $10,000 would not even touch the debt I owe so paying off debts would not be what I would see as the best use of this money. But it is not going to pay off my house either.

I know, I could put it away for the kids and college. Or I could take it to vegas and try to grow it to millions. Maybe I could just give it to someone even worse off than me. Tough decision to make, even if the money is imaginary. I mean, you have to be serious about this, right? lol

Anyway, this is what I would do(I think):

Go on a really great vacation. Not anything elaborate. Just something we may never get the chance to do again. And then, yes, I would put the money in a bank account and hope I could add to it later for all I am hoping to help the kids with.

So, boring? Maybe......So let me know what you would do with $10,000.

Have a great day!

Friendship

What is friendship?



I thought i knew what being a friend really meant. But I decided to look up the meaning . Here is what wikipedia says of friendship:



Friendship is the mutually cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.


I think this value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
the tendency to desire what is best for the other
sympathy and empathy, honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart and mutual understanding.



I personally do not think you have to necessarily have all the similar interests. For example, my spouse and I do not all like the same things with the same amount of passion. This may be sports or television, the type of movie or color schemes of a particular room. I think, by the way, of my spouse as my best friend. The kind of friend that you think of first when something good(or bad) happens because you want so badly to share that with them. Life really is better when you are sharing it with someone.

What is strange though is that I never really had "best" friends growing up. I had a lot of friends but not that "best" friend that was always there for me and vice versa. I started to think about that.


Why did I not have a best friend growing up? After serious reflection I think I know that answer. I am incredibly selfish. There, I said it. Not particularly proud of this but I see it for what it was. I had really good friends so I examined these relationships. I found that these friends were the very epitome of friends as described in the opening of this post. They thought of my wants and needs or shared my desires and so we got along splendidly. But it was only because we were in the same after school activities or went to church together that "I" was their friend. I don't think I was ever that friend who went out of his/her way to look after those friends.



What my spouse has done with me is amazing. I have noticed that I have been shown by example what the true meaning of friendship is. When I looked up friendship, what I found described their attributes in our relationship to a tee. Now does not that feel awesome! You bet it does.


I think during my 200+ years I have grown and matured and I think I have developed some very good friendships. But these are only because of the fact that I was able to learn how to be a better friend. I have learned to listen. To be willing to do something that maybe is not my favorite thing to do because it is theirs. To be willing to go out of my way in order to help/serve someone else.



So, what kind of friend are you?



Do you have many friends around you who really can be defined by wikipedia's definition of friendship?



Are you that kind of friend?

We have but one life to live.......

Okay, I am stepping out of my box just a bit. No, I am not playing some kind of mind or word game but just want to talk frankly.

Life is hard. There, I said it. Anyone want to disagree with that statement? Anyone?

What is interesting is that at every stage I have ever been at in life, that stage had it's problems and there were things I was struggling with. And then, later on, I would look back and realize that I grew because of those struggles or I was not really struggling as much as I had originally thought.

Do any of you find that is the case with you?

I know that problems I am dealing with currently: recent lay off, financial issues, repossession etc are serious and have caused many a sleepless night over the last few weeks especially. My REAL problem? I know that these are none of what really and truly matters. But I cannot convince myself to take things in stride.

I really do believe that we are only here on earth for a short time in eternities time frame. And yet, I cannot get rid of the dark thoughts that insist on intruding into my head. You know the ones; I'm a failure and things would be better if I was just out of the picture. I know better than this and I still cannot completely dispell the sense of failure every time I think of what my family is going without.

I don't really know what direction I am heading....in life or in this blog post......just that I do have a deep conviction that I can deal with whatever is dealt to me. But because
I realize that I have only fallen half way down to where I am certainly heading, I dread the day to day.

Add having to deal with all that still has to be dealt with (schools asking for more and more money for kids activities for example) it is daunting. With a steady but underpaid job I am kept busy and that is good, but there are those moments when everything is off at night...........It is a madness....

Thank goodness for the ipod.......I do not know what I would do if I could not fill the silence and keep out the dread.

Well, enough venting I suppose. Thanks for visiting the blog and hopefully we will keep up more regularly with y'all.

So by the way, how did you like the guest blogger recently? I thought it was a great success and hope to have her back. If anyone has other ideas for guest bloggers, let me know.

Have a great day stalkers!

Movie Night

So, when you have no money, what do you do for fun? I mean, there is a house full of kids, the weather is not accommodating to outside frolicking and everyone is getting stir crazy.

MOVIE NIGHT is the answer. Sometimes all it takes to make a great night is popping in some old movies you have not watched in awhile, put on some comfy old clothes and turn off all the lights so we can munch on home made popcorn and treats.

That is exactly how we spent last night, and plan on spending each night this weekend. First off its cheap and fun and sometimes you just have to school your children on the classics.

I found out none of my children had ever watched Karate kid. What? that is not acceptable. They need to get my references to "painting the fence" and "waxing on and off" lol.

What other movies have my kids not seen?

Here are some must see cult favorites of mine and you be the judge of whether or not they should be "must sees"

• Teen Wolf
• Bill and Teds Excellent adventure
• Home Alone
• Gremlins
• Krull
• Beetlejuice
• clue
• Short Circuit
• Adventures in Babysitting
• Tron
• Back to the Future
• A Christmass Story
• The Dark Crystal
• Soul Man
• Dream a little dream (the corey's)
• Ghostbusters
• The Last Starfighter
• The Money Pit
• Starman
• Summer School
• The Pirate Movie

So, i know this is a long list to some of you and a short list to some others of you. Any of them stand out to you? As I was thinking back on some of these I think I started laughing out loud. One of the kids asked what was so funny. I could not explain it, some things you just have to keep to yourself.

................................................................................................................................................................

So, have you watched any of these movies or some like them lately? Did they hold up to the way you remembered them? I once had a Back to the Future Marathon because none of my kids had seen any of them. I had not remembered some of the language in those movies. Not bad, but I was a little taken back. I think those movies definitely still fit the bill but one that didn't was enemy mine. I could not even list that movie. Great idea for a movie and I had fond memories of it(I was probably 10 or so when I saw it) But it is awful bad now. I couldn't force myself to sit through the whole thing.

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So, what movies on this list would make YOUR list?

............................................................................................................................................

Which movies didn't make my list but should be there?

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Have a great day stalkers!

when you have lemons....

It has been said many a time that when life gives you lemons........make lemonade.

Well, what if you don't particularly care for lemonade? Just wondering aloud. Anyway, just what does that mean? I hear it and think that it is about taking what your dealt in life and doing the best you can with it. Anybody think that's not it?

So, if we are to take what we are dealt and then do the best we can, just when do we get to complain? Don't answer that, I am just working through some light depression.

As many of you know, Our household income has dropped by 60 %. And as luck would have it, my bills did not go down. So I and we, as a family, have cut everything we can think of, and still find ourselves upside down. And so we tell ourselves, :this is why we have savings. we will get through this and things will get better soon." WELL< WHEN IS IT GONNA GET BETTER?!

I am fine now, but for the last week I have been in a serious funk. I have a job, and am glad for it as it is better than not having a job. But we are slowly eating up what savings we had. What are we to do when there is nothing left?

I tend not to like to have downer posts, and maybe that is another reason my posts have been so infrequent of late. There has been a lot of downer feelings. Spouse is doing their part and trying to stay positive but I see through it. I do not want to add to their load but OH MY HECK!

Okay, I promise the screaming is done. I really am feeling better. We have started calling creditors and asking what we can do to try and manage our debt. I know we are heading down a hard road but really do know how blessed I really am. My kids are all healthy and spouse is better than anyone I deserve. Maybe I am writing this post to help myself but I also wanted to share a line someone has told me recently.

So here it goes.........."In 100 years, what is going to matter to you?"

Riveting is it not. For someone who believes in eternity and the hereafter or heaven, this is a comfort. We may have lost the newer vehicle. We may end up going through bankruptcy. We may even lose the house. But none of this matters in the long run.

Am I living the way I should? Am I treating others the way I should? Do I honor myself and my family by my actions? Do I stay true to my principles? I could go on but I think you can get the gist of things.

I may not care for my situation but if I look hard enough I can see the blessings in my life, even now. How wonderful life IS!

So think about things and if possible answer the following questions in a comment.

How are you doing?

Are you struggling?

How are you dealing with your struggles?
and, last but not least........

What advice would you give others who face great hurdles in life?

Have a great day!

The Bus Driver's Daughter

Being a guest-blogger for *THE* Blogstalker is a privilege of which I am honored. I find the entire charade of the anonymity of Blogstalker to be fascinating; a mystery of sorts. I thought what could be more apropos than to write my own post about identity? Thank you, Blogstalker for this opportunity. I hope I do not disappoint your followers. ~Emma
_______

Who AM I? This thought has consumed me on so many occasions, and seems much more prevalent now than in past years. I credit my recent divorce as the catalyst which set in motion this very question as of late. Incidentally, simply writing out the statement, “my recent divorce”, has caused me to realize that my divorce was final 18 months ago. Does being divorced for a year and a half even constitute as “recent” anymore? When will it go from being a “recent divorce” to simply, “divorce”? This question gives way to ponder other questions about the way my mind thinks or the way I act, all which inevitably bring me back to, “Who AM I?”

I recently remarked to a friend on the fact that she and her husband have been married for 34 years and how much they are still in love. She replied, “He defines me.” The more I reflected on her sentiment the more it seemed depressing. I mean, this woman let her husband define who she is. Why can’t she define herself? I wondered. Is she not allowed to be her own person? The more I thought about her, the more I questioned my own identity. Hadn’t I done the same thing, really?

My mother had 7 children in 8 years. I remember when my father took a job driving tour busses for a tour company. Not only did we move into that town to be closer to his job, but we moved 2 doors down. I loved living "in town". We lived a block from Main St., across from the park, the library, the ambulance department, the firehouse, and the Bus Company. This was the town in which my father grew up and the locals knew him. As we moved in and as he reunited with friends, he became known as the bus driver with all of the kids. Being so close to the park and the library and the dime store which sold penny candy, as kids, we were all over town all the time. Everyone knew who we were. Everyone knew we belonged to the Bus Driver. I was the Bus Driver’s Daughter.

Being the Bus Driver’s Daughter was no easy feat. My father was an upstanding citizen. He not only worked long hours to support the family of 9, but he was a member of “Friends of the Library” and was a volunteer EMT, eventually becoming Vice President. Those who knew him never questioned who he was or what he stood for. He passed those values along to his children as well. If any of us ever acted out, he would know because it would have been so out of character that whoever saw it would have reported it to him.

Going off to college was a big deal for me, as I not only went out of state, but across an ocean. I met my husband during my second semester and we dated a short 8 weeks before becoming engaged. I had my doubts and my fears. But he was older and always seemed to know the right thing to say. I went home for the summer to work and then went back to school only 4 weeks before our wedding. We dated a total of 12 weeks. I didn’t really know him, but I was 19 and wanted to believe in love.

Over the next 13 years I had three beautiful children in spite of one toxic marriage. In public, I donned the smiles, the we-are-a-happy-family persona. But behind closed doors I retreated to myself, my room and all too often, my bed. I was lonely and afraid. I did not allow myself close friends for fear that they would come to figure out my deep, dark secrets. I was ashamed for the things I allowed to take place including the behavior against me. Why did I carry his burdens? Because I went from being someone’s child to becoming someone’s wife and someone’s mother, and I lost focus on who I was in the midst.

During the entire divorce process I became great friends with the gals in my neighborhood. One night, one of them said, “I always thought you were shy; but you are just the opposite.” After my divorce, when my father was passing through town, a friend of mine said to him, “Can you believe who she has become since the divorce? She is so full of life and spontaneity! She is so Saucy!” My dad chuckled and said, “This is the daughter I’ve always known.”

I don’t think I realized how lost my marriage made me feel until that moment. And yet that moment was also pivotal in my awareness of feeling lost now. I do not mourn my marriage anymore. I don’t even mourn my divorce. No, I feel lost because I gave someone else permission to define me all of those years; someone who didn’t love me completely. And now that he is gone, who am I?

I think much of the answer to who I am, is more an answer to “who do I want to be?” I get to choose. I am the one writing my story now.

I love the notion that, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience.” This adds significance to my plight in determining who I am, as now I desire to figure out who He already knows me to be. It fills me with hope and gives my journey purpose.

Who Am I? I haven’t quite decided yet. But this I know: I will always be someone’s mother, and I am still the Bus Driver’s daughter.




What about YOU? Do you ever feel lost?

FOUND OUT!

Well, if you notice what Summer had to say in the last comment you may think I have been found out. My secret Identity has been discovered and I can no longer work at the daily planet as an average reporter.

But don't worry, I will bribe her silly not to share any information so stop composing those emails to her right now!


So, was wondering if anyone else is watching all the town hall backlash on the govt. run health care issue?

What do you all think about it?

Catch ya later,

Have a great day stalkers!

Things I know

I may have lived 234 years but in the grand scheme of things I realize I know next to nothing compared to what my parents knew at about a 50. I don't know about you, but growing up I could count on a few solid facts. One of those was that my parents knew everything.

When I was a toddler and had questions about how something worked or why something was the way it was, Dad would tell me. And I believed him. It was not till I was older that I realized sometimes certain things were not really the way they were explained to me.

And I understand it now. I cannot bring myself to admit to my children when I do not know something

So here is a list of what I do know, just to make me feel better.

I know:

• I do not know everything
• I pretend that I do
• I weigh more than my "recommended" weight
• I have a great spouse and wonderful kids
• reading someone elses blog can help you deal with your own issues because you realize you are not the only one who has challenges
• A good book is still better than the movie
• all politicians lie to me
• more people comment about a blog where I complain than where I am positive
• The United States of America is still the freest place on earth.........for now
• we are never alone
• life is short
• family is important
• peace through strength is a good idea
• I love to run
• money is not happiness(but I could sure use more of it)
• most people are still genuinely good(excluding politicians and dictators)
• I love babies.........especially the ones I can hand back to mom when it is no longer happy. :-)
• I will never have another baby that is genetically mine
• I love blogging
• I am now on facebook....seriously...lol
• most people do not read this far on someones list. if you do read this....write the word skeptic somewhere in the comments...this should be fun
• Our military is underpaid and Congress is getting fat off the rest of us
• The poor in this country are still better off than most of the world.
• I love New York Style cheesecake with strawberry topping....yummmmmmm
• Music is the soundtrack of my life. Good music that is.

So, as you may have guessed, I do not know all that much. But what I know, I really know.

What do you know?

Have a great day!

What I Like

Well, I think the tone of my last post was a little more edgy than I usually write. I do not apologize and yet I did set out to have this blog to get away from the "problems" of everyday life. Although most of my posts are just questions about real life...........so the rule is.........

There will be no rules, except for the rules I set for myself. And these said rules DO change daily if necessary.

Okay, that is out of the way. What I really wanted to post today was a short list about some of the things in life I enjoy or look forward to or just plain wish for. After the last post of some things that bothered me it seems only fair and balanced to do so.

With trumpets sounding, here it goes;

• The smell of a freshly bathed little baby. Have had enough, not baby hungry, but......yeah, that is a good smell.
• A good beat I can dance to(where nobody can see me) As noted previously, I move to life with a song in my head. Good music rocks!
• the cliche "walk on the beach"
• gathered as a family when nobody is upset or moody
• believe it or not, hard work. Seriously, my teenager self is just flipping out but yes, hard work feels good and purges the idle toxins and leaves a good feeling of accomplishment
• people who are themselves, no matter what. And in that vein, people who accept me as myself, no matter what!
• Being in the rain, on my terms of course(not when it will ruin my stuff. lol)
• The snow. Visiting it of course. Would not want to shovel driveways or walks etc.
• Taking zillions of pictures. I just love photographing people, animals, landscapes, etc. Maybe one day I'll get good at it.
• holding hands
• Cuddling with special person in the dark watching -_________(anything)
• Growing older and watching my children grow into the people they will be. This is the most important thing. Being a family and helping each other progress into the beings our lord would have us become.
• Family game night!
• Date night with spouse!
• A night without calls from creditors! ha

Anyway, this is but a short list. I know that by the time I actually take the time to read what I wrote I will have thought of many more things that I like. But alas, the list has to stop somewhere and you only have so much of an attention span. I will reserve the right to re-post at a future undisclosed date, additions to this list.

So, entreat me if you will, to a few things YOU may put on your own lists.

Have a great day!

So I have been just a little bothered lately. Okay a lot bothered.
What is bothering you blogstalker?, you ask. Just a lot of everything I guess.

#1 Am I the only one who thinks strapless or even sleeveless clothes do not flatter? I mean, I am not a prude by any means but its as if the entire world just decided that sleeves are no longer necessary. And most people wearing these would look better if they covered up a little. But the problem is you can't even buy modest clothes anymore. And while we are at it, what the crap is up with everyone baring a midriff? I understand those with rock hard abs who want to show off but more often than not all we are being shown is someones doughy center, usually very unflattering.

#2 Who the hell are these politicians who are threatening more and more government control? Name me one thing the government has gotten involved with or started that is A. efficient and B. not a complete disaster.

#3 really great songs with really great music just absolutely ruined by cursing! enough said

#4 The "green" Nazis who liken my refusal to buy reusable bags as committing genocide. Get off of it already. And while your at it, go ahead and double bag the milk. lol

#5 Everyone bombarding me with facebook! Even though it seems I will venture into this realm, eventually, give me some freaking space already!

#6 Rich people, and I mean filthy rich people, telling me that I need to help pay for someone elses health insurance. If all these do-gooders came together and put THEIR money where their mouths are they could give everyone not insured care. But that wouldn't be fair? whatever

#7 People who talk so much about nothing that they actually put me to sleep

#8-10, The three people 'I was talking to today who all decried this universal health care idea and then followed it up with where they think the money should be used. THE MONEY SHOULD NOT BE SPENT PERIOD! WHEN ARE WE GONNA LEARN?

SO WHAT'S GOT YOU BOTHERED?

Rappers delight!

Not only did I like this music but what a funny video. If you have not seen this yet, enjoy!


So, do you remember breakdancing? I sure do, I remember when kids would bring refrigerator boxes to back and head spin on. I can also remember poppin' and lockin' contests.

Oh, and what about parachute pants and spiked wristbands and belts?

What do you remember about breakdancing?

Have a great day!

Working a crowd

Okay people, I have been away for awhile. Now, I know nobody missed me because they get all wrapped up in their own lives but I missed blogging.

But I did have a lot of fun. I will not go into all the details of everything I did and everywhere I went, but know while it was a 'almost zero' cost mini-vacation it was uber-exciting and fun.

While I spent much time with people I know, I did get the chance to meet several new people. So in these circumstances I had two choices. While nobody was out to introduce us and force us to mingle, I could sit by myself and only talk and mingle with people I knew(which would be boring since I only knew a few) or I could put on my big person face and just introduce myself, and my family of course.

For the entire weekend, any time I saw someone I did not know yet I just went up and told them who we were and asked who they were. While it did make for a 'few' awkward moments, for the most part it was super fun. I and spouse had some really good visits and made some new friends.

But spouse is not like me. Spouse is a little more (air fingers quotes) shy. So, even though spouse is like ten times more interesting and awesome than I am, I become the one who takes us out of the protective shell we usually create for ourselves. And then I tend to overdo it a little and sometimes end up feeling like a little bit of a ham.

But sure beats sitting around with nothing to do!

So the questions to answer are:

1. Are you the in your face personality or the shy type?

2. Are you and your spouse different in your approaches to meeting new people?

And the bonus question is:

3. Can you be happy just entertaining yourselves?

Have a great day stalkers!

Guessing game

I knew he was different in his sexuality
I went to his parties as a straight minority
It never seemed a threat to my masculinity
He only introduced me to a wider reality
As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that he was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

But he's nobody's hero
Saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero...
lands the crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries
Hero...
not the handsome actor
Who plays a hero's role
Hero...
not the glamour girl
Who'd love to sell her soul
If anybody's buying
Nobody's hero

I didn't know the girl,
but I knew her family
All their lives were shattered
in a nightmare of brutality
They try to carry on,
try to bear the agony
Try to hold some faith
in the goodness of humanity

As the years went by,
we drifted apart
When I heard that she was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart
But she's nobody's hero
Is the voice of reason
against the howling mob
Hero...
is the pride of purpose
In the unrewarding job
Hero...
not the champion player
Who plays the perfect game
Hero...
not the glamour boy
Who loves to sell his name
Everybody's buying
Nobody's hero

Hero

Foot in Mouth

I thought this stuff only happened in the prime time sit-coms. But alas, my life once again mimics the stuff making other people millions!

It all started way back a few years....lol

Anyway, my brother several years ago had a girlfriend. Nice enough girl but they lived on the other side of the country. I mean it took me a year to really get her name right. So after a break up and a move my sweet brother found another girlfriend.

Some of you are starting to smile already. You are probably seeing where this is going. Well, just hold up and wait for the rest of them.

So he has been dating this new girl a couple years now. I have met her on several occasions. She is nice enough and I do not have anything bad to say about her. Well, they were here visiting. We had a BBQ and invited lots of old friends that we grew up with. It was an enjoyable time. I addressed this woman by her name on several occasions. But not when i said goodnight!

Oh no, not only did I call her by the wrong name. I called her by the ex-girlfriends name.

YES, REALLY!

But that was not the worst of it. I did not even realize it. I had to get a text message from my brother who texted -"Hey, FYI, you told _________(her name) to "Have a good night, it was nice to see you again ________(the ex's name)"

I feel so bad. I just know he is going to end up marrying this girl now and she will hate me forever! ugh!

But, then again, I tend to over think everything. Maybe it really is just funny to her and it's already forgotten, as my brother vows.

What do you think?

What the worst thing you have slipped up and said?

How did you ever recover from the embarrassment, or did you?
Have a great day!

Guess again?

There once was a musical troupe

A pickin' singin' folk group

They sang the mountain ballads

And the folk songs of our land

They were long on musical ability

Folks thought they would go far

But political incompatibility

led to their downfall

Well, the one on the right

was on the left

And the one in the middle

was on the right

And the one on the left

was in the middle

And the guy in the rear

was a Methodist

This musical aggregation

toured the entire nation

Singing the traditional ballads

And the folk songs of our land

They performed with great virtuosity

And soon they were the rage

But political animosity

prevailed upon the stage

Well, the one on the right

was on the left

And the one in the middle

was on the right

And the one on the left

was in the middle

And the guy in the rear

burned his driver's license

Well the curtain had ascended

A hush fell on the crowd

As thousands there were gathered

to hear The folk songs of our land

But they took their politics seriously

And that night at the concert hall

As the audience watched deliriously

They had a free-for-all

Well, the one on the right

was on the bottom

And the one in the middle

was on the top

And the one on the left

got a broken arm

And the guy in the rear,

said, "Oh dear"

Now this should be a lesson

if you plan to start a folk group

Don't go mixin' politics

with the folk songs of our land

Just work on harmony and diction

Play your banjo well

And if you have political convictions

keep them to yourself

Now, the one on the left

works in a bank

And the one in the middle

drives a truck

The one on the right's

an all-night deejay

And the guy in the rear

got drafted

Can you guess?

life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell i feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now i can't think, think why i should even try
Yesterday it seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now i will just say good-bye

good bye....

12 lbs!

Okay, so I am going to go ahead and post about the boring old weight loss struggles in the life of wee (I wish) blogstalker.

I have really started catching the bug for running again. I have gotten over the mental edge of giving up some sleep if necessary in order to run consistently. It of course has been revitalizing. I come home from a good run and my muscles feel tighter and the flab, while still visible feels attacked.

And then of course when you are felling good having had a good run, you sure don't want to zero out the effort with a bunch of bad eating and so my eating has gotten a little more on track. And what does it all mean?

I am officially (according to someone Else's scale) 12 lbs lighter than when I re-took back my self control and self esteem. Yay for me! But the journey is not a short one or one that ends when I reach the magic number. Wish me luck in the coming weeks!

So today's question is about healthy eating;

What 'good for you' snacks do you eat to put off that hunger pang between meals?
AND
What is the best way to keep a lapse in good eating from turning into a collapse?

Have a great day!

to Facebook or not to Facebook?

So how many of you out there facebook? And what is the deal with that term?

I know there are many groups and thoughts on the matter. Heck, the term facebooking has even emerged. I have to admit, I am in the dark ages about it. I thought it was merely a fad that was for the kids. And in all reality, I think that is how it was first marketed.

So I have been an anti-facebooker. I am overly watchful of what my kids do on facebook and tended to roll my eyes when other grown-ups would mention for someone to check them out on facebook.

And then the bomb was dropped.

Spouse announced one day that they had started a facebook page. WHAT! I thought we were a united front. You know, both unwilling to become too hip with the latest fads. But turns out I was wrong. Spouse was just too cool. Just had to be a joiner. Oh well, last I would have to know about it right?

WRONG! It was not enough to join, spouse as well as older kids now had to taunt me into joining. It started small and innocent with comments that I could know more about what was going on with everyone. Then it started with comments about all the old friends that were requesting to be friends.

No problem I said, I don't really have any old friends I need to find. But that was just not good enough. Why is it that everyone wants me to start facebooking? I know it is not some kind of cult, but why is it so important for everyone that I join?

So now friends of mine have joined and are "friends" with spouse and kids. Okay, maybe starting to feel a little left out.

Then I start getting messages from siblings who live on the other side of the country, "through my spouses facebook"

I am feeling like I have been ganged up on. In fact, I got up from this post and came back and "someone" had wrote the final line as "AND SO I JOINED!"

Maybe it is hopeless. Maybe I am fighting an unwinnable fight. But now I am dug in and determined. We will see how long I can hold out. I have to admit, I do entertain the idea but just don't see the point.

So, what say you my fellow bloggers?

Do you facebook?

What is your opinion on the whole idea?

As always, Have a great day!

Why ask Why......?

So, what was the first thing you thought of when you read the title to this post? Be honest now, were you thinking "......Drink Bud Dry!"?

If you did not, then this post is probably not for you.

Anyway, it just plain amazing to me how much useless crap gets stuck in our brains never to be entirely forgotten. Of course, the fact that people are paid big bucks to make sure we do remember it probably has nothing to do with it.

Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off................

It's slinky, A slinky..........

Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what.........................

Sometimes you feel like a....................sometimes you dont!

Oh I wish I were an Oscar.............

I am stuck on ..............................because ..........................stuck on me!

Double your pleasure, double your fun............


so what commercial jingles do you remember?

Run or post?

To Run or not to run? that is not the question. The question really comes down to whether I am going to run or to blog. So what the frick am I going on about?

Well, gonna delve just a little into my personal side. I sure do not do it all that often. Anyway, I have been wondering about whether or not to post about boring stuff like weight loss or exercise. I finally decided that if it is important to me 'I need to do it. Also, many of you brilliant bloggers out there have awesome words of encouragement or just good advice.

So, where to begin? Well, once upon a time I was..........well, lets just say I had a lot of extra weight packed on. I loved life and did not have a bad self image. (but should have!) Anyway, one day realized I was just plain huge! I was not getting any younger and needed to do something before they needed a crane to get me out of bed.

Much longer story shorter...........I made a lifestyle change and over a year and a half later was down over 100 pounds. I had to buy a new wardrobe. I would bump into people that had not seen me in a long time and they would just gawk and totally pump my ego. I vowed I would never be "that big person" again.

And now after 3 years since I started.........................I have packed 35 pounds back on over the last 5 months. I am and have been very down on myself. And what do I do when I get down? I revert to the old "comfort food" habits. And the downward spiral continues.

One of the things that I developed during my change was that once I lost over 50lbs I found my new love in life. And it was/is running. I started at running 2 miles every night. I got up to 5 miles a night at least 5 nights a week and sometimes up to 7 miles. I love to run. It gives me time for just me. I release lots of happy endorphins and get to listen to great music while I run.

And then...............I hit some kind of wall..............and never really recovered. Started to get back on track.............and then got laid off. Got depressed and was always busy stressing out.

Now, I am finally getting sort of a routine down. Spouse has been very supportive! (much needed) Anyway, I have found some time just for me. I could either blog, which I really want to, or I can run, which I want to, but because of being out of practice find it easy to put off.

Anyway, I am proud to say I have been back on track, and have finally increased again from 2 miles a night to 3. Well, just tooting my own horn and kind of half explaining why I am not getting regular posts up. Hopefully soon I will get it all done. yay!

So, if you have made it through this self prescribed therapy tell all, congratulations! And riddle me this.....................................

What drastic changes have you ever made in your life?

Are there things you struggle to fit in every day that is harder than people might realize?

If you have to choose between blogging and something else, what is it and how do you choose?

Hope you all are well and good, I will posting again soon..........I hope

Have a great day!

More fun than a barrel of monkeys......

So why is a barrel of monkey so fun?

And just what are all the monkeys doing in there?

I for one would absolutely have no fun at all, packed all together with a bunch of others, in a barrel of all things...........

Just wondering aloud. So hey you, please at least say hello in a comment. I would like to take a roll call and see just who is still stopping by every now and then. And if your new, don't be shy, I have not followed anyone home.........lol

Anyway, I was thinking about just how many others are going through these tough times right now. It is way more than anyone wants to admit. I know that's the truth as I see it. In my circle of friends and acquaintances, more than half have lost their job or taken pay cuts or will be out of work soon if things don't change.

And then I run in to the occasional crazy person. Crazy defined by the fact that they tell me how great things are all of a sudden. Someone told me that stocks were soaring, that the Dow was over 8000(I think that's right). Anyway, did everyone forget that it was up over 12,000?

Anyway, apart from the random crazy person, so many have worries and really have to put every expense into categories: Wants and needs.

EXAMPLES: I want to enjoy air conditioning this summer. I need to pay the house payment, so if it means being hot, life just became a little sweatier. I want to go out to eat once a week with spouse. I need to feed somewhere between 8 and 12 people at my house EVERY day. I want to work just one job and then come home and be with my family. I need to earn enough money to pay for at least the necessities such as the water bill.

I think ya'll get it by now. But with our household income at less than half it really is coming down to defining wants and needs with new meaning. I mean, I really do want nice things for me and my family and many of the creature comforts we have taken for granted for so long. But in just my parents generation, there were dirt floors and two room houses with 6 kids. So ya, I think I can handle it. I at least have the most awesome family in the whole world going through it with me. In the right perspective, I can go without anything material in this world if I get to have my family healthy and together.

So, your assignment.......YES, there is homework! Your assignment is to think of something you may have thought of as a need that you now may see as more of a want. Or give me an example of each. And HINT HINT, things can be different for each one of us. For instance, I may think a shower every day is a want.......and others in my family might tell me it is a need....lol

Have a great day my fellow stalkers of the blogosphere!

Hanging by a thread

So, have any of you ever felt so overwhelmed that your entire existence felt like it was held together by a mere piece of thread?

Well, sometimes i do. And right now is one of those times. You know, when I first lost my job I actually thought, "well, at least I will be home more and be able to do stuff with the kiddos and do some of the projects I have always wanted to do." But alas, I actually seemed to be busier, you know, looking for a job and doing more cleaning for example.

And now I find myself with a job, even if it is for half of what I was making. So I try to do other little things to make money and now. I work twice as hard as I used to and still don't come close to what we used to make. (BTW, Our ENTIRE household income is now at 50% of what it is.)

So, the cuts get deeper. We are actually thinking of cutting out the home phone line. I know! Crazy! Anyway, the plus side of that is no calls looking for money. hehe

Anyway, we laid out our income and listed all the expenses. Not a fun time to be sure. So now that we are done slashing, at least for now, we are stressing out but at least we are taking turns. As of yet, we have yet to both be stressed out over our lack of income at the same time. Hope that holds out for awhile.

Whew----------------------------let me catch my breath


So, I think a lot about what is really important. I mean, WHAT is REALLY important? I think that is a question that is quite loaded actually. What matters the most to me?

I know for a certainty what my answers are. And while I really want to keep the house and I love our vehicles etc. etc. If my family is happy and healthy and safe, that is all that really matters. There is always a chance at a new house or a new car later on.... but with your family...you only get one shot.

So I DO have a question for you marvelous bloggers out there.

Is there anything you have had to cut back on?

What about ingenious ways to stretch your dollars? I have definitely seen more and more blogs about being thrifty. Awesome!

And since we are all from different parts of the country/world, how are things economically in your community?

As always, thanks for visiting and Have a great day!

That song in your head.....

So, I have posted several times about music. Some of you(Emma) have called me out for my music and taken some guesses on who I am based on my music. It has been fun to say the least.

Well, music is a defining part of my life. As I have stated before I feel that there is a song for every part of our life. Life has a soundtrack. We just need to plug in our own music.

In a recent blog visit I saw an awesome post about an old tv sit com. The first thing I did when I thought of the show was start singing the theme song in my head. Do you do that?
I thought it was so funny how I could remember it after not hearing it for so long.

Now I wonder what you all think about this? Are there shows that you just can't help but sing the theme song to? What about other songs in general. Are there some special songs that define certain moments in your life?

I'd love to hear about it.

Have a great day!

Hitting the proverbial wall!

Ever just have a bad day?


While I think I have had a pretty good attitude through the whole layoff thing I think I am mentally starting to hit "the wall".

And I am feeling really terrible for my down and out feelings. Guilty even. I have really come to grips with the fact that the lord allows us to have trials in order to test us. I really do believe that how we face diversity is what really defines us.

Through all the emotional ups and downs through the last month, I have kept it pretty well together. I even allowed myself to be happy on occasion. But now, even with the cuts, there are more needed. We are now actually living the way we told ourselves we could. And do not get me wrong, I do know that we could be even worse off. (never ever, ever, never say out loud "can it get any worse?!")

Bills are due and past due and we decide what is important NOW, and what can wait(as if money will magically appear later) Anyway, My Internet access is one of the things that had to go. It is a luxury and a convenience, but not necessary.(sure it is, lol, but hence the reason for such bad blog stalking lately)

So we at my house have started making lists. Lots and lots of lists. One of those lists are the things we decided are the must pays. The things that we feel need to be paid before anything else. Obviously, church tithes and Mortgage top the list. There are only a few other items on this MUST PAY list. And then of course we have lists of debts, and lists of wants. Then we have lists of needs, whether we can afford them all or not.

Funny how when you really investigate your needs, most of them are just wants. Something to think about, no?

So, of course I want to know what ya'll think. Do you make lists? What kind of lists do you make? And last but not least, tell me your biggest want in life, hint, not a need, but a want. Like a dream or desire from the bottom of your consciousness.

Okay, well, I will see you soon,

Follow the rules?

What is the first thing that goes through your mind when someone gives you a rule to follow?



Times up. Is your first reaction to question that rule? I ask this because I happened to notice something the other day. It was outside of a business establishment that had a posted notice that there was no smoking allowed on their premises. I read this as I past an employee smoking right next to it. Where was my camera when I needed it?



Anyway, I laughed about how it looked, but it has got me thinking. Now, I am not posting this about smoking. This was just the incident that started this train of thought. See if you can follow me through this thought.

The more I thought about it, the more instances I was able to recognize in life where the rules were ignored. Let's visit a few just for giggles.

• The toddler who when told not to put their hands on something hot proceeds to do just that.
• The junior high student who when told not to have "certain" friends or listen to "certain" music, do so because it is what they were told not to.
• The high school student who takes up smoking or worse because they were told it was wrong
• The young college student who cheats on an exam or copies someones notes.
• What about at work: Do you steal paperclips? What about rules about gifts from clients.
• Taxes! Who can even follow all the different"rules" involved here?
• I worked with people who said, "oh yeah, you are not supposed to (fill in the blank) but everyone does, so just to let you know"
• Often do I see someone make left turn on red when there is no cop in site.
• Is it really a business dinner if it's watching Monday night Football with the buddies?
• Do we use the Car pool lane when we shouldn't?
• What about going through the express checkout with more than 10 items.

These are just a few of the everyday rules that are broken. There are some who will not break any of them. And then there are those who seem to break as many as they can get away with. The rest of us are all somewhere in-between.

So, are you a rule breaker?

What is the threshold for how serious you treat a rule handed down lets say at work?

Do you judge others based on what rules they follow?

What rules have you broken this week?

What rules have you seen broken this week?

Have a great week stalkers!

BlogStalker revealed!

Okay everyone, it's finally time to take off the veil of secrecy and come out of the shadows!

I wrestled with whether to do this for several days now. The problem is I have become so busy as of late. I have found a lot of part time and spotty work, here, there and everywhere to try and make up for the lack of income now that I am part of the unemployment statistics. I of course am working twice the amount I was used to for about 1/2 of what I was used to.

So what happened is that I was trying to keep up with the family(very important) and blogging(important, but not necessary) and of course that animal ----sleep---.

SO HERE IS THE DEAL! I AM GOING TO MERGE MY FAMILY BLOG WITH BLOGSTALKER!

This will have many benefits, not the least of which will be that I will only have to post on one blog so I might actually post semi-regularly.

My biggest worry is that once you all know who I am,.......FOR REAL.........I will become so boring to everyone that none of you will ever come back. But, I guess that is the chance I take.

So

Without

Any

Further

Delay ................................................................(and for those who do not want to know, I give you the choice on whether to click the link or not)

Here is the link to my family blog and a picture of me! Click to reveal BlogStalker!

Have a great day!

ALIVE!

Man oh man, one minute it's the start of spring break and the next it is all over except all the cleaning up. And boy there is some major cleaning up to do. With the number of children(I hold back from calling them animals) in our family it sure does not take long before the whole house looks like it took the brunt of hurricane Katrina!

Do not get me wrong, we had a great week. A busy, almost non stop week, but busy busy! We did do some family things together but mostly went off in pairs and trios doing different activities. Because some of you may catch on to locality or more I will keep the details to myself. However, I wanted to share a little moment.

One of the boys who is part of the younger group of siblings is really into board games. He is smart and can catch onto things quicker than most his age. But enough of my bragging on his intelligence. One quiet evening he asks "why don't we play games as a family?"

OUCH! That hurt really bad. I had no answer for him. We used to love playing games as a family. I know me and spouse always enjoyed good games with family and friends. There were stretches of time where we and the now older group of kids would stay up into the wee hours of the morning playing games.
Bonus points to anyone who can identify this game!

What has happened to us? Is it the television and the video games that has divided and stolen the few moments we have together as a family? My son has embarrassed me. I have fallen down as a parent where I could teach good values to ALL of my children in playing games as a family. I can teach them how to win without gloating, and how to lose without throwing the game pieces or flipping the game board. I can teach them how to work together as a team and the possibilities are endless.

I think the Family game night is about to be resurrected at our home!

So what games are good for the whole family? Or should I play different games with different age groups? What the crap was I thinking, it should be easier!

Okay, here is where I need all of your brilliant comments:

1. What games do you remember playing with your family?



2. What games do you play with your family now?



3. What games should I stay away from?



4. Am I crazy? Maybe you should keep this answer to yourself

Time management?

So, I am way way behind on everything I thought I was going to have more time to do.

When I was first laid off I thought I would look at the bright side. At least I would have time to do some of the things that I really never had time for and squeezed in when I could.

One of those things was blogging. I really thought I was going to be spitting out at LEAST one a day and spend time keeping up with all my blogging pals. Alas, it has only been a little over a week and I have nothing to show for myself. In fact I am already late for the interview which is overdue, and have not even updated the playlist with the awesome requests I have gotten in comments and in email.

I even had another post all thought up about how I was gonna spotlight Ronda from Ronda's Rants and how I was lucky enough to win an ipod through our promotion of Sara Nelms. I was even going to write about how I blindfolded her so she has no info on me! lol

And then there was all the organization I was going to implement but never had time for. I guess I simply thought that I would spend all the time I normally spend at work doing stuff I wanted to do. BOY was I wrong. I think I have had less time for me this past week than I did when I was working. Cannot explain how that happens and looking back, don't seem to have anything to show for my time either. Go figure.

I guess I will just hope that I can get a handle on my time management skills and improve.

So this week is Spring break for all my kids(HELP!) no, seriously we want to do "stuff" but what to do on a small budget (emphasis on small). Kids were not keen on laying in bed all day and watching movies. darnit! Any good ideas out there?

Have a great day stalkers!

Creating a Playlist

So all you crazy music lovers out there in bloggy blog land, I want to know what your listening to. Well, actually what I want is a little more complicated. As many of you may already know I have quite the diverse playlist here on this blog. The reason is I enjoy many different types of music.

Other than vulgar and obscene music, I probably listen to everything out there. And have listened to a lot of it for quite some time now. I have posted in the past about my belief that life has a soundtrack. There is a song out there for everything you have ever gone through. And there is probably a song out there for everything you will ever go though in the future.

Some songs set the mood or inject zest and happiness. Some music we simply enjoy and many years later appreciate even more because along with that song we associate the memories we created with the music.

So back on point here. I try and change up my playlist here and there and have it on shuffle so you as visitors should not have to hear the same songs EVERY time. But there is one flaw with this. Okay, at least one flaw. And that is it is the music I picked.

I just assumed everyone would like what music I picked. And then I visited somebody Else's blog. And the music was just hideous. I mean it was so bad that if there was an Olympic event for exiting a website I could have beaten the world record. Well, I exaggerate, but the point is I didn't even stick around to leave a comment.

So that got me thinking, a scary thought in and of itself, and I figure you guys, my readers, should have some say in the playlist.

So there it is......your assignment............tell me what song or songs you want to hear or like to listen to. If there is an artist you want me to pick something by that is okay too.

I am looking forward to your input and hopefully it will be up soon.

Have a great day Stalkers!

Read anything good lately?

Well, as alluded to in my last post I am now a part of the next published unemployment statistics. No fan fare and no crying. (okay, maybe a little crying)

So, now I have a little time on my hands and want to fill the void. I will update my resume. I will dedicate a portion of time every day to finding a good job. But there is still going to be those extra minutes every day that I need to fill. Even after all the extra cleaning that could be done, I need something to stimulate my mind.

So what's everyone reading right now? Is there a good book that I may not have heard of yet? I do love to read and usually am in the middle of reading 2 or 3 at a time. But I am now finishing my last book and while I am never against reading certain books again, want to find a "good" read that is new.

So help me out people, or I just might end up going crazy! And you do not want that, trust me!

Have a great day!

Blogstalker Interview: The Sequel?

Well, I started this year wanting to post way more often. It worked for awhile and I have really enjoyed all of your great blogs. Then the first of this week rolled around and I found myself looking ahead at a future that is so not what I wanted it to be. I will probably blog around this issue soon enough but because the reality has not completely set in yet, I have been taking some me time and, well, just been stressing way too much. Please do not take my absence from stalking your blogs as anything more than some reassessment of me time.

Okay, now that is out of the way, I was just wondering if my fellow stalkers out there wanted to know anything more about little ole moi? Last year we played around with an interview that I thought went pretty good and I did have some good questions submitted. Read it here. So, with some new stalkers in the mix and maybe some new questions from some of the true blue, I wanted to ask whether or not I should conduct another interview or not.

So let me know and vote on the right(under the player)

If you would like to see another interview I will need to know what questions you want to be asked of me, the Blog Stalker. There are no rules except that I get to have the final say on which questions to use. Be creative and maybe you will learn something more about me. Some regular readers of this blog swear they know things about me and probably guard this information (or not).

I do hope everyone is doing well and will be visiting your blogs soon!(I hope)

Have a great day!