Perspective!

AS I sometimes lay down at night I have been prone to self pity. I do not need to go into too much detail as many of you know that we have been suffering financially for the last year. It has been too easy to lay awake at night and feel so bad about all that I have lost or may lose.

And then I think of my ancestors, and some of yours. We have it so much better than so many ever did. I have read accounts of my own predecessors who didn't even have running water. There were times in my own fathers lifetime that an outhouse was normal.

My dad lived for a time in a two bedroom home with dirt floors and there were 6 kids. And here I am thinking I have it so rough, just because we lost a job and a vehicle etc.

I read of parents burying their babies in shallow graves. I then hear about a brother shot to death over some land rights. Couples separated for months at a time because there is no work at home.

Yes, I have so much to be thankful for. All my children are fairly healthy and I have an awesome spouse who somehow puts up with me.

So, with perspective, LIFE IS GOOD!

With that being said, I want to spotlight another awesome blogger who stalks me every now and again. If you get a chance go check out MISS KRIS. Tell her I sent you and give her some comment love.
I loved this post, Read it and tell me where you are from.

She is also a very talented poet, please go here and read some of her awesome stuff.

And just when you thought you knew who MISS KRIS was, here are 20 questions that really tell us who she is! I hope you had a great time getting to know this fellow blog stalker.

And as always, HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Read more...

Happy day and SPOTLIGHT!

Happy Day!

Why you ask? or maybe you didnt ask. Anyway, I had some good news today when I went to check on some possibilities on my future. For those of you who may be newer to my blog, My family income has crashed. Because of lay offs and work now which is apprciated but not very high in the pay, we bring home 40% of the income we were bringing home.

That is not an exagerated figure and we have had to adjust to a hard reality of life. A life of weighing needs vs. wants. For example, we want shoes with no holes in them but we need food on the table. Anyway we have found ourselves doing without so much that we thought we had to have.

This has been traumatic at times. Everyone in this family has had a time when the lack of money has been heartwrenching at worst and inconvenient at best.

So we have had to re-evaluate the direction in career and life in general. We have had some life changing trials and blessings because of them. I hope we are passing the tests we are up against. We are closer as a family for sure.

I am not ready to reveal what is going on because I have to talk to another person first, but hopefully that will be soon. It is a boost to my confidence that there will be a better future and it is exciting to boot! The musing banterer (inside joke for some) has some idea of where this could be going.

So, that was a little long winded, I appologize but I had an entirely different idea for this post. Guess I just can't keep things inside. I know that I do not post nearly as much as I would like to. I do not visit all your blogs with the kind of frequency as I would like. And I leave comments even less. And so in turn I have lost followers. Albeit fringe followers with finiky tastes maybe looking for something different, but they have left al the same.

No crying here, but I have been sittingon an idea for the last week or so. Because we all connect as bloggers, we have this kind of network with each other. But not all of your followers know each other. Neither do mine.

And I have some of the best followers ever! I want to start spotlighting from time to time some of you awesome bloggers. If you know them already, awesome. If you don't, spend some time getting to know them.

Today I am going to spot one of my first blog followers. Her name is Rhonda and you can read some ofher posts in the followng post selections:

First off she tells us what her Kids have taught her

Then, you really need to read WHO AM I? Itis a real self look into herself as a blogger. You may want to read more of her adventures at the SITScation or whatever that thing was that I didnt go to! (couldnt reveal myself now could I?)

A good way to finish up is reading her funny post/poem about her Family.

Check her out. And I am going to do this a little more frequently, lets ll get to know each other a little better! Branch out andfind new readers for our blogs!

Have a great day Stalkers!

Read more...

Not too late.

Okay you procrastinators out there, get out your calenders. It is getting close and closer to the end of the year. What does that mean? Christmas and thanksgiving? Yes, but what I want to talk about are the resolutions you made at the end of last year and the first of this year.

How did you do? Did you start but not finish the goal? Did you achieve your goal only to sabotage yourself? I will freely admit that my biggest goal just blew up in my face. Here it is November and I am the same weight I was last January. Oh FRUIT! (inside joke)

Anyway, I decided to do something about it. My running never did get back to "habit". I was told it takes 21 days to make something a habit. So, I am digging in and hitting the pavement. The past two weeks have been stepping stones. Two weeks ago i ran 3 days, two miles each. Last week I ran 4 times 2 miles twice and 3 miles twice. So far this week I have ran 3 times at 3 miles each run. I must say I am feeling better.

My goal is to continue to eat sensible but to try and not obsess with the scale but how I feel when I consistently run. The weight will come off as I make this thing a habit.

Wish me luck! Now i have gone and posted to the world so no going back, right?

So, how have you done with YOUR resolutions?

Read more...

New beginning and Answers?

Today was the first day of the rest........BLAH BLAH BLAH. It was not all that big a deal but was a change none the less. Today I started a new job. I am not making more money and I consider it a lateral move.......... but there are some perks.

I will now be in closer proximity to the house and kids if they should need me. I am close enough that the gas I will save will be like getting a raise. YAY ME! So anyway, the best reason is a selfish reason. THERE IS A QT WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE! Seriously this is a perk. I love the place. 30 choices of beverage, fatty foods and candy.....oh, and gas, clean bathrooms etc..

Do you feel like I do on first days? Are you back in first grade or the first day of high school?
Hoping you look cool, but like your not trying to look cool? Too funny, but it is true.

It is almost like a first date. Bear with me on this. When you go on a first date, you are so concerned on how you look in your jeans. You worry yourself about how your hair looks. Everything has to be perfect. Usually you eat more politely and maybe even pay attention to what your date is saying and make some clever comments that make you seem so witty. Then fast forward one year and you are getting take out in some "comfy" clothes and your hair, who cares? Anyone.....?

Well, I happen to be that person who tries to be the perfect student but not the brown nosed nerd at the front of the class. (these analogies are getting out of hand) Well, anyway, I am working with some good people(for a first date at least). Hope it holds true.

On to what else I wanted to write about. Do you remember the dream I told you about in the last post? Well, I don't see that it is very connected but something happened. I have a good friend. This friend has been fighting a cancer for a little over a year. I talk to this friend every now and then and we have gone out to catch up and enjoy some different activities. I had turned down an invite to go with this friend somewhere about a month ago because of some different family commitments. I left messages a few times since and texted but never got a response.

It was not like we were needy or that we texted often so I thought nothing of it. Well, 2 days after my last post I was talking to a fellow friend who still worked with them. When I asked how they were doing there was silence. The silence was followed by an apology for me not having heard that my friend had passed away.
-----SHOCK--------

I was then informed that the funeral was one week previous. Again ----SHOCK----

It is not like this friends spouse had any obligation to tell me. I was certainly not "best" friends with them, but not one person (we share several acquaintances) let me know and i feel as guilty as heck that I did not keep in better touch and make sure i ws on a calling list or something.

GUILTY>>>>>>>>>GUILTY>>>>>>>GUILTY

Why do I feel so guilty?

What does this have to do with my dream, if anything?

Just thinking aloud......Have a great day!

Read more...

I had a dream!

What do our dreams mean?
I am going to share something very personal. Something I do not usually do here in this format to be sure. But I feel strongly about this and figured it is not like identifying info or anything and would really like to talk about it.

So here it goes; I had a dream the other night. This was not a dream like the type of dream I usually have had. Usually my dreams can seem real, but good or bad, they end and I find myself either wishing it had not ended or glad I woke up.

This dream was as real as any dream could possibly be. It was so real I have a part of my brain that wonders if it was a glimpse into the future. (and I did not watch "flash forward" right before bed! lol) Let me give a little background. Several family members and people close to me have succumbed to cancer in the past 10 years. Cancer is an evil menace and I do not take the mention of it lightly. I do not joke about things like this and so this dream is freaking me out.

Again, this dream felt very real, as if it really happened to me. I went to a doctor because I had a lot of pain in my side or something. I must of had some things checked out prior to this doctor visit because the dream was about the conversation with the doctor.

He sat and took a deep breath. Then he proceeded to tell me I had a large tumor. It was larger than anything he had ever seen before and was amazed I had not had more problems prior to coming in about it. He said it was so advanced that there were not a lot of options but proceeded to go over them with me anyway.

The rest of the day(in the dream) is still so clear to me. Spouse and I decided that with not much of a chance of survival, the best thing to do would be to make the most of the time I had left. It would be better than being sick the rest of my life just to extend it a little while. It was the scariest thing I have ever been a part of. I am not ready to leave my family. The emotional drain of that day, the day that didn't even happen, has been weighing on me a lot. Everything that I have not done yet in this life flashed in front of my eyes. I thought of everything that I have not experienced with my children yet. There are still stages of life I have not reached and experienced. But what makes me any better than the thousands who die every year who can say the same things?


And then I am awake.............................at the end of that day........................................like I just woke up back in time before it happened.

Very X-Files-ish wouldn't you say?

Well, I just had to write it down. If you have any ideas please share them. I am not fatalistic but am still pretty weirded out by it.

Have you ever had a dream that was so real you can still remember every detail of it to this day? What was it about? Did it change the way you looked at life or how you lived?

Thanks for your comments and.........Have a great day!

Read more...