Wednesday, August 26, 2009

when you have lemons....

It has been said many a time that when life gives you lemons........make lemonade.

Well, what if you don't particularly care for lemonade? Just wondering aloud. Anyway, just what does that mean? I hear it and think that it is about taking what your dealt in life and doing the best you can with it. Anybody think that's not it?

So, if we are to take what we are dealt and then do the best we can, just when do we get to complain? Don't answer that, I am just working through some light depression.

As many of you know, Our household income has dropped by 60 %. And as luck would have it, my bills did not go down. So I and we, as a family, have cut everything we can think of, and still find ourselves upside down. And so we tell ourselves, :this is why we have savings. we will get through this and things will get better soon." WELL< WHEN IS IT GONNA GET BETTER?!

I am fine now, but for the last week I have been in a serious funk. I have a job, and am glad for it as it is better than not having a job. But we are slowly eating up what savings we had. What are we to do when there is nothing left?

I tend not to like to have downer posts, and maybe that is another reason my posts have been so infrequent of late. There has been a lot of downer feelings. Spouse is doing their part and trying to stay positive but I see through it. I do not want to add to their load but OH MY HECK!

Okay, I promise the screaming is done. I really am feeling better. We have started calling creditors and asking what we can do to try and manage our debt. I know we are heading down a hard road but really do know how blessed I really am. My kids are all healthy and spouse is better than anyone I deserve. Maybe I am writing this post to help myself but I also wanted to share a line someone has told me recently.

So here it goes.........."In 100 years, what is going to matter to you?"

Riveting is it not. For someone who believes in eternity and the hereafter or heaven, this is a comfort. We may have lost the newer vehicle. We may end up going through bankruptcy. We may even lose the house. But none of this matters in the long run.

Am I living the way I should? Am I treating others the way I should? Do I honor myself and my family by my actions? Do I stay true to my principles? I could go on but I think you can get the gist of things.

I may not care for my situation but if I look hard enough I can see the blessings in my life, even now. How wonderful life IS!

So think about things and if possible answer the following questions in a comment.

How are you doing?

Are you struggling?

How are you dealing with your struggles?
and, last but not least........

What advice would you give others who face great hurdles in life?

Have a great day!


Ronda's Rants said...

I am sorry...I, too am struggling...I am trying to be upbeat and be faithful but I get down and I am afraid too!
I have noticed that many people I deal with these days are frightened...some of this has come out in anger...I try to be patient but it is hard!
I guess I am not cheering you up, am I? I have this Hope...that things will be better. You are in my prayers.

Tulsi said...

While some people would never get into Law Enforcement or the Military during these times, we know we have job security. When Kass returns from his mission he will have job security and money benefits from the National Guard so we don't have to worry about his education or if he has money for his needs monthly. When we moved here, we bought our house during a "sellers market". We couldn't sell our house for what we paid for it. It would go for about $80,000 less in this market. And most likely would not sell. Therefore, our house mortgage is high. I'm a home mom who didn't finish college and haven't worked. We cover the bills, but I also help my married daughter with some little things. Sometimes that means I spend money that should go somewhere else so they have what they need for Addison. They live in scholarship housing now since her husband has excellent grades at the university. That is a downsize from were they formerly lived. That is one thing they have done. My son in law has a window business, but no one is doing windows now. He didn't have much business this summer at all. He has a snow plow business so we hope for snow lots this winter. I am so worried about making sure they are ok that we still have some "money talks" at home. We also have the added Mission to pay for. We were pretty even before that. We don't say anything to our son so that he can enjoy the work and not think what he is doing is a burden. These sound so trivial when we know we have money coming in and the amount hasn't changed, but just the few added things make a huge difference. I have not put in for some jobs, such as at a craft store that I would love to work in, because I think another family may need that income. It could be their only income. And my daughter is going back to work one day a week and I'm watching my granddaughter so her husband can attend school and work that day. They would never put her in daycare but they don't think twice about me taking care of her which helped them make some decisions. We have to decide wants and needs and have to continually remind our youngest that Kass is on his Mission so we need to be careful. My daughter's best friend and husband lost both of their jobs. They followed in the scholarship housing. I happened to mention it at church one time so they checked into it and got in. I knew about the job loss before our church did and kept an eye on them since they didn't want anyone to know. They didn't want our daughter to tell us since Steve is in the Bishopric but she thought we needed to know. Our bishop knew we were close to them so when he heard wind of it he called us to confirm. It was a relief when someone else found out about it and let the Relief Society know. It's so hard to know what to do when no one wants anyone to know they could use some help. We don't have much extra but I was about to start sending them $20.00 here and there without them knowing who it was. With so many job losses, I almost feel guilty that we have that security. I don't know why it all makes me feel guilty. Only one of my youngest daughter's friends has had a job loss so the rest of her friends try to do things that don't cost any money. This may all sound silly, but this is what we have been doing.

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Anonymous said...

Recently after having been sick for two weeks, I felt like I had been handed a bag of lemons.

We are having car troubles, we don't have the money to fix our Suburban. Winter is going to come, and I am going to be walking in snow. It frustrates me to no end. We are frugal just as you are doing. Yet with both of us working, we still are living pay check to pay check. Wish I had some great words of wisdom, but I just don't at this time.

Mike said...

Time to turn on word verification. You've been located.

EmmaP said... a matter of fact, i too have been in a funk. i worry about the money thing all.the.stinkin.time. and i worry about my kids - though they are great kids and their health is good. i mostly just worry if they are gonna turn out ok or be scarred from the whole divorce thing. however, i think as more time passes, they are adjusting well. which leaves me. as usual, i tend to be the last one i take care of. i stress. i dont eat or i eat too much. i dont exercise or i become obsessed with exercise. it's like one extreme or the other. i just started school... so now i am stressed about that. and probably the stupidest thing of all is that i worry about my heart... not physiologically, but emotionally. i mean, i hate this feeling...of being incomplete. and i wonder, why am i stressing about being in love when a) i have enough to stress about b) the food/money is more important.
i dont know, except to say, that when it comes to emotions and logic, emotions always win.

i sat down and wrote statements on notecards. these are quotes or scriptures or things my mother used to tell me. sort of like "words of affirmation" cards.
"After the tribulation come the blessings"... "you can do hard things"... are just a few. Anyway, those help. blogging helps. and just writing in general. i find that i am always writing anymore. it can be emails or blogs or fb posts... doesnt even really matter what...if i am writing, i am coping. that and running. i have moved my running to 9pm up by the hill by the temple... i feel like the cool breeze is truly a "breath of fresh air"...the angels letting me know that "soon"... "soon" it will all be better... i sure hope so!!!

oh and btw, i did a "venting post" wherein i get a lot of frustration out on my ex. i normally dont do that via the blog. but this one was esp theraputic... check it out... next thursday! ;)

hang in their friend! oh and whatever mr/ms asian character said... hope it was good!

Juliana said...

Hang in there!

Night Owl Mama said...

HUGS sweetie I know its not easy.
Hang in there its bound to get better. YOU have a wonderful following you should get paid to post. I have a few connections to make a few bucks if your interested and no you don't have to sell any body anything and all it takes is a post I make about a $100 xtra a month. and every penny helps right. Its my cell phone bill or the electric

We are doing ok. Only one income hubby gets laid off in 2 months so dreeding that one. Trying to save as much as we can before that happens and we pay a bit on every credit card. Call and ask for them to lower your interest rate. Some of our credit cards allow off for holidays on interest rates and evry other month. JUST Ask.

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