Friday, April 10, 2009

Hitting the proverbial wall!

Ever just have a bad day?

While I think I have had a pretty good attitude through the whole layoff thing I think I am mentally starting to hit "the wall".

And I am feeling really terrible for my down and out feelings. Guilty even. I have really come to grips with the fact that the lord allows us to have trials in order to test us. I really do believe that how we face diversity is what really defines us.

Through all the emotional ups and downs through the last month, I have kept it pretty well together. I even allowed myself to be happy on occasion. But now, even with the cuts, there are more needed. We are now actually living the way we told ourselves we could. And do not get me wrong, I do know that we could be even worse off. (never ever, ever, never say out loud "can it get any worse?!")

Bills are due and past due and we decide what is important NOW, and what can wait(as if money will magically appear later) Anyway, My Internet access is one of the things that had to go. It is a luxury and a convenience, but not necessary.(sure it is, lol, but hence the reason for such bad blog stalking lately)

So we at my house have started making lists. Lots and lots of lists. One of those lists are the things we decided are the must pays. The things that we feel need to be paid before anything else. Obviously, church tithes and Mortgage top the list. There are only a few other items on this MUST PAY list. And then of course we have lists of debts, and lists of wants. Then we have lists of needs, whether we can afford them all or not.

Funny how when you really investigate your needs, most of them are just wants. Something to think about, no?

So, of course I want to know what ya'll think. Do you make lists? What kind of lists do you make? And last but not least, tell me your biggest want in life, hint, not a need, but a want. Like a dream or desire from the bottom of your consciousness.

Okay, well, I will see you soon,


EmmaP said...

i canceled our cable. the grocery list is skimmed way down. i make lists of all sorts of things. even if i never accomplish everything on my list - making a list makes me "face" certain things. It also gives me some sort of hope - like i am making some sort of progress by organizing my thoughts on paper.

Rhonda said...

We haven't felt a whole lot of "it" here yet. I know it's coming. The lay-offs are starting. The hardest thing for me, I think, will be the convenience of the drive through during our busy soccer season.

People all around us are still buying cars and boats and houses, though. I'm not that brave.

Kitty said...

Does it sound awful if I say I'm so far down the food chain that it hasn't made the hugest difference to our lives? Over the past 3 years I have lost my relationship, my home and half of the little sanity I had. Now I'm just grateful that we now have a roof over our heads. Perhaps it was good that I got 'in training' for severe budgeting a couple of years ago?

I'm sorry you're having to cut back on your internet access - thank goodness that is one thing that I haven't yet had to forgo - it's on my 'need' list rather than my 'want' list.

As for a want - to be happy and content again in life.

Take care. x

Ronda's Rants said...

I am sorry...IT will Get BETTER! I really believe that!
You are so smart to make the cuts and lists and to face it head on.
The economy started changing here in Florida three years didn't affect us too much until a year ago!
We have made huge changes...not bad ones just different...some hurt at first but now I am transformed!
My husband sold his gas guzzling truck...three years ago and since I work from home...we now have one paid off vehicle...hard at first but now it's just the way it is. We gave up our phone land line and cable but kept internet! I literally stopped shopping...I buy used if I can! I bought a purse yesterday and it is one of the few items I have bought in three years...that is new!
My goal/dream is to be debt included! I owe a house payment and a couple of credit cards and the Evil IRS and that's it...soon it will be all paid off and hopefully stocks will rebound somewhat and we will be fine!
Our budget though helped us pay off our debt while our income had been reduced by more than half.
It was scary and it was humbling but little changes save a lot and you feel more in control!
Please know you are in my prayers!

Jackie said...

I just want to say, we love you are are praying for you!

Tulsi said...

Since there are bad guys in Utah and the world, we are one of the fortunate ones with job security. Steve's to high to be laid off with the UHP and the Mil. doesn't lay off. The UHP has a hiring freeze. But we are having to make cuts and whittle down things. When Mikele begins to complain about something, I drive her by the trailer park on the other side of town and ask her to pick one out and tell me which window would be her room. She's actually done great. But it did take a couple of months and seeing some of her friends in hard situations. Because of Steve's heart attack, we were behind a month with the mortgage for a couple of months. That is so hard to catch up on. We have lists going on ourselves. A want for me would be a very cool, exotic vacation.

Mike said...

(never ever, ever, never say out loud "can it get any worse?!")

I see you already know the big no no.

Bee and Rose said...

We went through this last year when my husband (age 40) had his triple bypass. He lost over half his monthly income because he couldn't continue to work the hours. That was a PINCH! We let so much go. We are very selective about what we spend our money on now. My husband used to spend quite freely, but no longer! I've always been a saver, but it's been a rough couple of years.

My biggest want is after my children's health and happiness is to have my writing be a successful author...for my words to make a change in someone's life, to inspire them in some way.

RhondaLue said...

well if you keep your internet you can cancel the cable and DVR and watch your shows on the computer. Sucks, unless you can hook it up to your tv-then not so bad.

I'm learning all sorts of new things as my husband lost his job but I'll only cry if we lose our home. or our health. ya know, or our family car. that'd suck.

here's to hoping we can all make it out of this dark time knowing what really matters.

jenjen said...

I'm so sorry that things are bad. I think everyone is cutting back and trying to be careful. I'm praying for you that things will get better.


petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Does it bring any consolation that everyone seems to be going through the same thing?

Facing it head on and doing what you have to do is the best way of dealing with it. You can get drunk every day to avoid the situation or take action which is the wisest thing to do.

Try to find a way to get around the wall, instead of hitting your head against it.

Is there a support group you can join? Maybe there you can learn what others are doing to keep themselves from feeling overwhelmed.

Maybe you can start one. Invite friends or friends of friends who are experiencing the same and share notes.

Good luck, Blogstalker. I know it isn't easy, but with a little help from your friends...

Wishing you and your loved ones a blessed Easter!

Anonymous said...

We were in your "shoes" not to long ago. Hubby worked 2 jobs, I worked 2 part time jobs. Had to down size our house. Which turned out to be a real blessing. Like many others we canceled our cable and many other items.

Things did work out, we now only each work one job each. Looking back we could see how we had to go through the job loss to get to where we are at now. It taught us many things we would not have learned other wise.

Hang in there!

Here is my biggest Dream....finish school and start my own design company. Not like any other designer, I want to help people use what they have to create a wonderful, comfy home. With the style they desire.

caron said...

Considering that my entire blog is a list of lists...yes I make list! I think it's great that you are making priorities and that tithing is at the top! I'm always tempted to cut down in that area! (good thing my husband makes the check out each pay period) Anyway, as for wants and dreams...I dream of being a nurse in an underprivileged country...or many different countries..I also dream of being a stay at home mom someday...we'll see if it works out!

Anonymous said...

It's been 6 months since I'm in denial of what's to happen to my career in the office. Now that the last days remain, I suddenly feel sadness looming over. Honestly, with the re-organization, I was glad I'm getting more than the rest and I could do what I have been putting off. Though I can't help feel the emptiness of what I am so used to doing and venturing to a new beginning that will not be paying the luxury that I usually get from my salary. I have to give it up and it's going to be one big struggle and acceptance to swallow.

I am thankful though I ran into your blog. I get to see that there are others who have far greater problems than I do. And this should tell me I can face my new world in a few days, as you have, and the rest have, done it step by step one day at a time.

I wish you and your loved ones all the best. :)

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