So, awhile back I promised an interview. Several of you awesome blog stalkers submitted questions. Many of you did not. I invited a close personal friend of mine to help me with the interview. Thought it would be a little weird to just sit here and ask myself questions. An Interview needs a little meaningful banter.
So without further delay I would like to introduce Pat , a Detective from the Internet Investigative Division:Stalking Unit. But we'll just call this person Pat and turn over this here interview over to them.
Pat: So first of all thanks for inviting me here. We've been watching you for a while now.
BS: Really? Watching me?
Pat: Well, the whole "Blog Stalker" name is a little frightening to some.
BS: Honestly, I chose to be anonymous so I could be judged by the content of my posts and comments and not by anything else. It has been quite interesting. I know I probably put some off who might otherwise hand out, but that is the bed I made and now I have to sleep in it.
Pat: Okay then. First submitted question.
BS: Go for it.
Pat: On your profile you are listed as 232 years old. That's pretty old, can you explain any significance to that.
BS: 232 years ago there was an event on the North American Continent that I feel has shaped the entire world from that point to this day.
Pat: Quite a few of your readers wanted to know when you go to the bathroom whether you sit or stand?
BS: I can honestly say I have done both. Next question.
Pat: Okay, what about first thing in the morning, do you shave or fasten a bra?
BS: Again, I have done both! Not saying it was my bra, but not saying it wasn't either.
Pat: So sitting down you seem kind of average height. How tall are you?
BS: I am 5'9 and 3/4". Exactly.
Pat: Have you had any operations?
BS: Yes as a matter of fact. I have had an operation that will prohibit me from having any more spawn.
Pat: Speaking of 'spawn', sounds like you have children. How many?
BS: That's a little tricky. I do not want to give out too much info, but let's just say it is more than 3 and less than 10.
Pat: 10? really?
BS: I said less than 10. Are you even paying attention?
Pat. Oh Sorry, just caught me a little off guard.
Pat: So, someone asked if Pink Floyd was your favorite band?
BS: I do love Pink Floyd but I love lots of music. I listen to many different kinds of music, as regular visitors will be able to attest.
Pat: So, someone else wanted to know what speed you set your ceiling fan on?
BS: Really? Why would anyone want to know that? Anyway, I like it cold, so always on high unless the chitlins are cold. Cuz, getting a blanket is too much work for them.
Pat: How many sharpies do you own?
BS: Again, really? Oh Okay, Lets say if I had to count them, this interview would be over because it would take all night.
Pat: What do you want to be when you grow up?
BS: Does that mean I have to grow up?
Pat: Hey, its not my question. Do you Have a dream job?
BS: Oh yes I do. I want a job that wants to pay enormous amounts of money to watch tv, preview movies and spend ridiculous amounts of time with my family and then blog about it all.
Pat: Sounds nice. Do you want an assistant?
BS: Nah, I can handle it. It IS MY dream job.
Pat: What is your best household tip? What about a beauty secret?
BS: How about 'If you kick it, YOU pick it up!' and for beauty secret, Q-tips ARE for cleaning out your ears....I don't care what it says on the box.
Pat:If you had only 30 days to live what are the top 5 things you would definitely want to do?
BS: Okay, this is kinda hard. 1. Quit job, and spend every possible moment with my family. 2. REpent of everything, whether I'd done it or not. 3. I'd want to travel, but takes too much time and stresses everyone out so I guess order lots of take out and watch movies and tv in bed with the whole family. 4. Write as many letters as possible to my kids that they can open on special dates in the future. 5. Hug my family as much as possible.
Pat: I liked the honesty of that last answer. I will try to lighten it up for the next one. So someone wanted to know if you changed the batteries in your smoke detectors recently?
BS: Well, geez....let me think..........hmmmmmmm......I better go and check
Pat: Hey, where are you going? Hello? Well, I guess that ends this interview. I still have a sheet full of questions and I suppose many others may have been raised. I had a lot of fun conducting this interview and can state that 'Blog Stalker' is a pretty good individual. We'll keep our eyes on (him,her.it) for you, but fear not.
Until next time, this is Pat..........................................signing off