Saturday, October 18, 2008

RUDE? Who me?

Okay, so I couldn't wait to take that McD's baby picture down. But it did kind of grow on me after awhile. NOT!



On to new things. So I was reading Rhondalue's post about being rude. General phone manners and how we conduct ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. Go read her post here. She does it so much better than me.



So after determining that I might in fact be a little rude I get to the heart of what my post is about today. RUDE PEOPLE. We all know them. Heck, some of us are them. It is the weekend and I am not going to ramble on and on, but do want to ask this question here:



Is it ever OKAY to be rude? Is there a time when nice needs to be thrown out the window? I promise not to judge, because there is no judging on this blog, REMEMBER.



And the follow up to that question is: How does it feel to be on the other side of rude? Does it change your demeanor for a certain amount of time? How do you deal with it?



As always, put your brave face on and leave a comment. I look forward to reading them.



Have a great day!

28 comments:

RhondaLue said...

Why, thanks blogstalker! I feel honored that mr or mrs deep thinker here actually felt my post caused him/her to ponder upon it!

I think there are times when being rude BACK to someone seems warranted but in reality, deep down, I don't think its RIGHT. Have I done it? Once or twice maybe. ;)

Along those same lines I think when people are hostile and rude, as I stated in my post, they are throwing their own insecurities and envy at someone else. I like to take a deep breath, count to 10, and try to be the better person. Most people's rudeness doesn't bother me. Only if I truly value their opinion and it's sort of funny because the people that are rude or hostile towards me think they can get at me with their little digs but it doesn't bother me! ha ha neener neener.

Wait, was that rude of me? ;)

I heard a quote once that goes something along the lines of

"More powerful is he who has himself in his own power."

I feel like people who go off on others just to make themselves feel better aren't doing very well at keeping themselves in their own power. Their egos practically explode in their own faces. It ain't cute. I'd prefer to keep my power and let it go, don't fret over it.

So, as I've said...I'm not perfect and have to sometimes remind myself not to stoop to a lower level but I think that's the best policy.

How's that for a long comment?!

Rhonda said...

First off, I LOVE your song selection! If my hubby wasn't fast asleep directly upstairs it would be SOOO loud right now! "Home Sweet Home"!!

When it is okay to be rude:

First and most importantly - Telemarketers. Hate them. I used to be one. I used to, because of that, be nice to them. But they've gotten pushy! I used to wait until they took a break, and then cut in ever so politely to say no thank you. Now they ask me "Why not?" Huh? "Just no thank you" I respond. They don't give up! So now, if it's an 800 number I turn my phone on and off really quickly. It even irks me to hear my phone ring, knowing they are on the other line.

Second - Incredibly bad service. Oh. My. Stars. I can't even begin to tell you where I have gone with this one. Perhaps they will be the topic of many posts to come!

Third - Driving my car. Seriously, people. I'm right. You're wrong. Just get the heck out of my way!
Kidding, I'm not quite that bad. But bad drivers really do bring out the worst in me!

KeepinUnity said...

Rudenessssss hmmmm lol. I hold my hands up lol i can b rude as we all can i think. I feel over the years i have become less rude,probably due to the fact i have been on the reciveing end of alot of rudness! i was a receptionist in a suppermarket for years so.....lol.However i do get very fed up at how many rude people there actaully are,especially the driveing kind! (learner driver here) and what is it with people n cars ,one of my friends is the most placid person but since she learnt to drive shes like a mad woman behind the wheel. I try my best not to be rude in general although i think many of us are and dont even realise it. Being rude to anyone thats rude to my mum is in my book always allowed! yet again another good q and thinking point! cheers

Ronda's Rants said...

First...I love "keeps" response about always allowed to be rude to someone who is rude to your Mom! I mean that is an international rule, right? Tee Hee!
I was in sales and custoner service for over 10 years for a local bank that was bought out by BOA...this bank had a great training center.
I have learned to listen...everyone's perception is their reality...it doesn't mean it's the truth...
A customer would scream at me...
You stole my money! Well, of course I didn't but to them when the bank just took $100 of their hard earned money...that's what it feels like!
I was always kind, offerd them a chair, got them a cup of coffee or soda...listened and if it was a honest mistake or even the banks mistake..I would refund all or only half of it with them if it was the customer's mistake! I would in turn get all their banking needs...installment loans, mortage loans etc.When you are kind and helpful to someone who is in distress...they become very loyal! I was usually proud of myself that it didn't end ugly...that being said...I have behaved poorly when I haven't been treated with just common civil kindness...banks give really bad service lately..I am sorry to say! I get very frustrated with companies that won't empower their people to do the right thing!
Now, that we have our own business...I am frustrated with the lack of professionalism with contractors...Men can be very rude sometimes!

Melissa B. said...

I have to say, I was rude last summer to a retail clerk-and, since I worked in retail for Many Moons, I'm never rude to retail folks. This young man, though, had absolutely no interest in helping me or generating business for his venue. And, sad to say, neither did his manager, who was about 2 years older and just as stupid. Whatever happened to The Customer Might Not Always Be Right, But at Least Be Polite to Her?

EmmaP said...

in gerenal i am not a rude person. i hate feeling contentious. i hate confrontation. usually, if i am not getting the results i desire/need, i tend to put my "firm" voice/face on. however, there have been times in which yes, that did not work, so i have resorted to a hint of rudeness. but usually at that point rudeness is just how "frustration" manifests itself. Is it right? no, i do not think so.

Breanne said...

Well I don't think there is ever a time it is ok to be rude....that being said I think everybody has been guilty of it at some point. There are times you may need to stand up for yourself or confront somebody but that can be done in a nice way.

Have a good weekend.

Mike said...

It depends on who's being rude and what they're being rude about. Sarcasm is the proper response in most instances.

Mother Goose said...

yes, I do believe that there is a time that you can be "rude" curt and to the point with out saving any graces. Rude does not mean MEAN.

Some people who are rude only respond and understand being spoken to in the same manner. They do not realize they are even being rude. Perhaps, it is how they are used to being spoken to and definitely how they have become accostumed to talking.

3 Magpies said...

Nice always matters.

MissKris said...

Arggghhh...I would've read what Rhondalue had to write but I can't read red (or orange?) text on black in itty-bitty print. Comes with being an old crone, haha! Anyway, I'll comment on rudeness. I hate it. And even when I'm confronted with it I'll rarely respond in the same way because I feel I'm letting THEIR actions drag me down to THEIR level...and I won't allow myself to stoop so low. I'm an eternal optimist. I try to find something good in every body, and even tho some days that belief is stretched mighty thin, who are we to know what's going on in their lives to make them lash out like that? I don't think I've ever intentionally been rude to anyone. At least, I hope I haven't. I can get grumpy, but I usually try to keep that to myself.

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

I try to be nice no matter if there is a rude person in person, or on the phone, b/c kindness kills them. I' am a true believer in this wisdom, b/c you never know what kinda of day that person is having.

Melissa B. said...

BTW, it's Sunday again! Don't forget my Silly Sunday Sweepstakes-you always have something funny to say!

Deb said...

Yup. And sorry if that offends someone, but when I am ignored or basically mistreatred by someone in retail, or any service industry, you can believe I will show my ass. I don't do it lightly and I give plenty of chance for their behavior to change. I try killing with kindness and trying to be happy go lucky, but when all else fails - they get the bitch.
That' my take on it.

Rick said...

I had a rude anonymous comment on my blog not long ago. Some strange vistor ask if I was an idiot. That's not nice. I responded by suggesting he/she/it was some jealous relative out there. I don't like be nice to rude people.

To quote the great social commentator - Frank Burns... "It's nice to be nice to the nice."

Jen Sue Wild said...

I hope I am never rude but I amsure i have beenmore than once.

As for when other pepole are rude I try not to let it bother me but some times it does .

Tulsi said...

I can list on case with Mikele that it is ok to be rude. One guy was following her around at school. She tried to be nice, but he would do it every second of each day. She finally had to be rude to him and tell him to stop stalking her. It was making her nervous and she didn't know what he wanted from her. She felt bad about being rude, but the guy quit following her where she could see him.

White Rose said...

I use rudeness as a last resort. Sometimes it is necessary, because when you're nice they think you are a pushover.

When people are rude to me I am overly nice. It is funny to see the effect on people.

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Nope, no excuse for rudeness. It shows total disrespect for the other person.

Girl Rants said...

i indeed try to be polite in all instances. being "rude" seems to imply unprovoked notniceness(ok not a word). in that case, no its never cool.
why make someone feel like crap, unprovoked.

mean people suck.

Tulsi said...

Miki has had actual stalkers that we could have had police reports and court orders on. We almost did on her first one. (4 in 6 years) Sometimes if you are nice it encourages them. I firmly believe that there are situations where being rude is not necessarily being rude. It is protecting some one and not encouraging behavior. I have had to flat out tell some to leave my daughter alone. In my "not so nice" voice so that they knew I meant what I said because I seriously wasn't kidding. Nicely telling them they were scaring the crap out of her and they were not going to bully her into a dark hall way or building wouldn't have done the trick. Rude? I'm not sure that I would call that rude in this instance. But I wasn't being nice either. It wasn't over some customer service person not letting me return a lamp. It was a life of a child and whether she feared life forever. To me nothing is black and white.

Becky said...

Yes, it's okay to be rude sometimes. If niceties don't get the point across, you have a right to get a little rude.

That said, you should not use rudeness as your main coping mechanism.

Esther said...

Hi, I came over to your blog from SITS. With me, the problem is not being rude enough sometimes. I'm a people pleaser and don't stand up for myself enough. I can see my daughter going the same way, when she complains about other kids pushing in front of her in the playground when she's been waiting a long time. I asked her what she did and she said she "glared" at them. I'm sorry honey, that's not going to do the trick. Maybe I'm confusing rudeness with being assertive. I don't like rudeness, we've all seen those customers who delight in making everyone's day miserable to prove a point, but assertiveness is good. Now I just need to practise it more.

angie said...

When someone is rude to me, I find myself all geared up to be rude back. I DO try to never be the first to be rude though. I think there's never an appropriate time to start it.

Rhonda said...

I have to add one to my list above.

ANYONE in a grocery store pushing a cart not watching where they're going or give a crap about the people around them. It's called shoulder checking, people. Driving a cart requires the same common sense that driving a car does.

Sheesh!

Wendyburd1 said...

If you are rude to me...okay or any member of my family...I will SO be rude back. Generally I hate rude people, but when they give it, they better be prepared to TAKE it.

caron said...

I just wrote a blog about rude comments!! It must be the week of rude people! I don't think it is ever okay to be rude...except when you are getting hit on and you are afraid for your life. SOMETIMES...rudeness is necessary...but not usually! If someone is rude to me, I usually think of a not so pleasant response to their actions in my head...but never go through with it!

Jed said...

It's never okay to be rude. But with that being said, when someone is way over the line, you need to be firm and not take it. You just encourage that persons behavior when you don't stick up for yourself.

And then you feel like crap for not saying anything!

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