I have read a few blogs lately that really made me think. Oh Oh, there goes the smoke coming from my ears. Great job everyone. No, seriously, I have read more than I've posted. Well, I saw a few that I really liked and will probably steal the general format for a future post. I hope if you recognize that format that you will feel honored and flattered as opposed to enraged and plagiarized.
So what these posts brought to mind was my growing up years. Don't worry I know I have not really grown up yet. (hope I never do actually) Children in general from as young as 6 and 7 can be very cruel. Several people can recall specific instances where they changed from fun kids to kids who worried about too much, such as bullies and what those bullies were going to do to them. Now, I want to define bullies.
I Think for this post a bully would be anyone who would say or do anything to make someone else feel inferior or to put themselves above that individual. Sometimes bullies intimidate and use physical force. Sometimes they use the sectarian form of bullying. I think this would be where the "In" crowd would pick others out of the class or group to harass, pick on, make fun of or just plain make life miserable for.
So I find myself thinking about this dynamic. I believe that there are several personalities involved. There is the real bully. The one who instigates the intimidation/harassment. There are those who go along with it and consider themselves friends of the bully and put their own 2 cents in. Then there are the victims. Usually the ones who bear the scars for a long time. Who usually overcome and succeed far beyond the bully. And then there are the others who are just glad they were not picked as the victim and tend to try and avoid the bully and the victim.
So now I look back at my life and want to figure out where I sat. I definitely was at various times the victim and the one avoiding attention. But then lucky for me I gained some confidence and went to different high school than everyone I grew up with. I was social. I was involved. I will not go into what I was involved with as I try and stay as anonymous as possible. Anyway I found myself in a totally new group I have not previously listed. I was not comfortable just going along with anyone. I sought friendships with everyone and struck the best friendships with those who had intellect and rational thought capability. But I found also that I had a voice. I could speak out against the bully. I could never just sit by if someone was ever being made fun of or picked on. Well, towards the end of my high school experience I actually had a few encounters with previous bullies of mine. I will not go into too many details, but I knew their game and knew I had all the power now. Anyway, it was a great feeling.
SO, (I tend to start a lot of sentences with so. So, I must not be a very good writer) What the Question of the day is....................................... What group were you a part of? Were you a victim? If you were, did you ever get a chance to confront a past bully? (or maybe the satisfaction of seeing them suffer a little) Were you the bully? If you were, did you ever feel bad enough to apologize to a victim? Did a victim ever confront you? Were you the friends of the bully? The ones who maybe didn't feel totally comfortable but did go along because you did not want to be the victim. Or maybe you were the ones who just floated under the radar and really got your wings after high school. Maybe you were something I didn't mention. Did the experience of your school years influence you as an adult. (by adult I mean as legally defined. Many of us probably still have a hard time calling themselves adults.)
So tell us all where you fit in to this dynamic and where you are today. Do you have good memories of school? Or do you try and block those years out?
I for one wish I would have done a lot of things differently. But overall am glad for the experiences I did have.