Friday, December 19, 2008

How do you spell TRASH?

Just a quick rant that I am having difficulty dealing with. Because I wish to keep things lighter I will try to generalize what has so greatly offended me. Hey I know, I'll do one of those Dear whomever letters and let out all my frustrations that way.

Nope, that won't work either.(I would never use that kind of language in a letter!) Maybe I will just ask a few questions and see what my fellow stalkers think on the subject.

So what do you do when someone who is entrusted with the care of someone you love not only allows something to happen to them that just causes your mouth to drop open and steam to come out of your ears but actually encouraged and pushed them into it?

OH, I can't even begin to list the many levels of rage and frustration and anger and rage, I think I said that already, but you get the picture.

Lets put it this way:

You have a prize winning dog. It is pedigreed and trained and is treated with white gloves. Your "friend" agrees to watch your dog for the weekend and you feel safe that your dog is getting loving care, greater than that from some stranger at a kennel. When you come to pick up your dog you find out that your "friend" took your dog to a dog fighter to "toughen it up" and give it a more aggressive doggy cut. While there the dog fighter crops the tail and generally changes your prize winner forever.

This was a stretch and does not even begin to really explain the situation but let me ask you this.:

If a friend or family member destroys the trust you had with them by choosing to put someone you love in harms way deliberately, should you feel guilty about not wanting to be around them? Even during the holidays?

PLEASE put on your brave faces and help me out here!

47 comments:

Blog Buddy said...

I feel for ya'... -because I've been there many times. A certain relative "sided" with a bad babysitter I left my toddler with-years ago. When I discovered that my toddler had to try and clean her diaper herself-(while the sitter ignored her)-my relative felt the sitter was under real stress, and I needed to forgive her! *(Hogwash...) *I try and avoid get-togethers now.

Ronda's Rants said...

Oh My goodness...I am sorry!
I wonder how close your example is to your real situation...
There is a movie line from A little Black book...not a very remarkable movie but...this line is a gem for me.
Here it is...
If you listen carefully...people will tell you who they really are!
It's true! Sometimes we don't want to see all this little clues in people but they are there!
I would show Grace if I could... but I would never trust this person with something I loved again...EVER!!!
I am sorry you are hurt!

georgie said...

You should NOT feel guilty and I know this is easier said than done some times but being the bigger person makes you a better person...

Ty for the bday wishes yesterday

cornnut32 said...

you absolutely should NOT feel guilty at all.

my mother-in-law used to watch my son a few times a week while i was at work. after continual problems with her lazily strapping my son into his carseat incorrectly (and the seat into the car) i was frustrated. after she fed my son sweets and popsicles (when he was six months old and younger) and i asked her not to, i was upset. when she gave my son apple juice after me and my husband had on separate occassions told her NOT to, i was furious. my son is allergic to apples. he was almost seven months old. he vomited for two days. it took me and my husband almost three months to be able to speak to her again--because after we confronted her about it, she did not apologize and instead yelled at my husband. we have mostly patched things up, but she will never babysit our children again because of her blatant disregard for his safety.

you need to remember what your priorities are--and it sounds like the one who was put in harms way comes first. if you are too upset to be around that person, then don't. take things at your own pace.

fiona said...

I feel for you and this one is hitting my buttons!
I think, having had first hand experience of the scenario you have described, that you have to differentiate between "trust" and "respect".
I have discovered that I can trust a person but not respect them eg. I trust that if I give you $100 to keep for me you will not spend it however I don't respect your views on parenting. Does that make sense?
Your "friend" did NOT respect your ideals and took advantage of you.
You have no respect for his/her behavior and that's perfectly ok!
You can still "trust" them to tell you the time, pick up mail for you, be on time for an appointment etc
But Respect...forget it.
In my humble opinion, even during the holidays,stay clear and please please please do not feel guilty.
You did nothing wrong!
Hugs for ya xxx

Mike said...

I'll post my blog credo here so you don't have to go back to my site to read it.

There are billions of people and a version of normal to go along with each one of them. No two versions are exactly the same. There will be hundreds of thousands of little things that make up your version of normal. With any luck you can find people that have close to the same idea of what normal is that you do. These are your friends. Anyone else you try to tolerate as best you can. Sometimes that's not possible. Avoid these people at all costs. They will be the proverbial pain in your ass.

Mike said...

I thought of something else. Get a fake ID with this other persons name. Volunteer to donate a kidney. Tell them you'll probably pitch a fit when they come to get you but you really want to got through with it. Have a video camera ready.

And the thing with your dogs tail. That's destruction of private property. Take her to Judge Judy.

Jenny said...

Don't blame ya for not wanting to be around some one who has broken your trust. Hope they understand that they have broken your trust. Give your self some time away . Don't seek revenge.

Melissa B. said...

I'd drop that alleged "friend" like a hot potato! No love lost there, pure and simple. I've got something to help you take your mind off your hurt, though...BTW, please don't forget my Sx3 tomorrow...it's seasonal-and hysterical!

Tulsi said...

I say your immediate family depend on you. I wouldn't feel bad. And I don't. My brother likes to put me down because he has a chip on his shoulder he has never lost. I CHOOSE not to spend holidays with him. I know why he does it and put up with it for way to long and finally decided that my family doesn't have to deal with that. We can be together for short periods of time, like when we pass through each other's towns. If any member of my family or friends put my family in danger, it is up to me to protect them. And we all parent differently. I don't ask just anyone to take care of our dog when we leave for any length of time. We've had so slackers. I never feel guilty putting my family first.

Jed said...

Wow, I can totally relate and say you SO do not need to feel guilty about cutting out time with your 'friend'. We have just had something similar to your "dog" incident but it makes me want to really hurt someone for putting my kid in harms way.

If you can't trust your own family to do that or at least ACT responsible........geez!

Veggie Mom said...

It's probably not the most mature thing to do, but I'm a grudge-holder. This person would not be forgiven, in my book. Perhaps ever!

MissKris said...

I think, sometimes, that when it was time for God to pass out brains, some people skipped out of line. Well, let's make that MOST people, eh? HA! Sometimes it just boggles my mind, the things people take upon themselves to do without asking permission. To crop the dog's tail? I mean, REALLY!!! And if I don't get by beforehand, I wanted to wish you and your loved ones a most blessed, safe, and joyful Christmas!

RhondaLue said...

I wouldn't pierce someone's ears or cut someones HAIR w/o permission from the parent....and that's pretty harmless.

Some people don't have a brain cell left in their head. Poor souls. I will lose the quiet niceness, tell 'em how it is, and not ever let my dog or whatever in that situation again. NEVER. I won't harbor bitterness because I don't have enough energy too. Once the situation is as resolved as it's going to be I'll wish 'em well....from a distance. I'm happy with my way of handling it. Totally works for me!

Mother Goose said...

absolutely not! recently a co worker of mine left for a cruise and left her dog in the care of a trusted friend. Her two dogs. They are like children to her and she trusted this friend.
The dog got in a fight with her friends dog and for the majority of a week stayed hidden upstairs and would not come down until she came to pick her dogs up. The friend said they had a fight but nothing more.
When she got the dog in her car it had old blood all over the neck and was badly infected. over $200 later and not so much as I'm sorry.

I would be cordial to that friend but they would definitely know they crossed the line and yeah, over a DOG! because you know what my dog is just like one of my kids and I trusted you with it!

Anonymous said...

All not so is simple [url=http://cgi2.ebay.fr/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=acheter_levitra_ici_1euro&achat-levitra]acheter levitra[/url] Who knows it.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, quel la phrase nГ©cessaire..., l'idГ©e brillante http://www.gnduonline.org viagra

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.playlist.com/blog/entry/12464022019]buy Levitra online overseas[/url]
[url=http://www.playlist.com/blog/entry/12464018691]generic viagra woman[/url]
[url=http://www.playlist.com/blog/entry/12464026115]Zithromax free online doctor consultation[/url]
[url=http://www.playlist.com/blog/entry/12464022019]Levitra on line[/url]
[url=http://www.playlist.com/blog/entry/12464030467]comprar buy KAMAGRA (SILDENAFIL CITRATE) online[/url]
[url=http://www.playlist.com/blog/entry/12464030467]kamagra bulk[/url]

kamagra oral jelly without a presciption
Buy In Brantford (Ontario) [url=http://www.wikipatterns.com/display/~zaeblo] kamagra jelly laws canada[/url] i want a Generic kamagra oral jelly prescription.

Buy In North York (Ontario) [url=http://www.wikipatterns.com/display/~toprol] buy Toprol XL 60 pills x 50 mg online bestellen[/url] buy toprol xl uk.

Buy In North Battleford (Saskatchewan) [url=http://www.wikipatterns.com/display/~wertinskoi] cialis and levitra viagra medications internet[/url] order viagra online a href.
Buy In White Rock (British Columbia) [url=http://www.wikipatterns.com/display/~zerguni] drug free levitra[/url] buy cheap levitra without prescription. Buy In Colorado Springs [url=http://www.wikipatterns.com/display/~thirtywow] kamagra 50mg[/url] free pictures of kamagra 100mg tablets.

Purchase In Gananoque (Ontario) [url=http://www.wikipatterns.com/display/~semen] Propecia prices[/url] propecia erectile orgasm problems. Order In Invermere (British Columbia) [url=http://connections.blackboard.com/people/4b1319a5ad] buying VIAGRA SOFT TABS[/url] cialis viagra canada.

Anonymous said...

kkkrfogmcz pirkfcbgmi [url=http://www.lacasadicavour.com]cialis [/url] reeltzcsnm ddqqclhtld cialis mwdrqdivpg sjtlxivavs

Anonymous said...

Certes. Je suis d'accord avec tout plus haut par dit. viagra sur le net viagra sur le net [url=http://lettresdudroit.com/tag/acheter-viagra]viagra sur le net[/url]

Anonymous said...

Vous Г©tiez visitГ©s par l'idГ©e simplement magnifique achat viagra generique achat viagra [url=http://lettresdudroit.com/viagra-generique]viagra sur le net[/url]

Anonymous said...

Si sono errati. Sono in grado di provarlo. lfyvadqqlt zuklsnprcv [url=http://www.lacasadicavour.com/]cialis prezzo [/url] dqhxscmqxa xfhzzkxtdd cialis igqfrhyrln bvtvkbkuzz

Anonymous said...

une idГ©e trГЁs intГ©ressante cialis generique cialis prix [url=http://runfr.com/cialis]achat cialis generique[/url]

Anonymous said...

oxmmdaxizp cxzbnhmpof [url=http://www.lacasadicavour.com/cialis-generico-online/]cialis [/url] bkyubxizku kelbdxjykh generico cialis online brsnrejydz wcsohrwfsz

Anonymous said...

loegtjwljg cknhjopvtd [url=http://www.lacasadicavour.com/]cialis senza ricetta [/url] evgndncpjr anokajmbla comprare cialis generico sxupvmuwku tudcldiccg

Anonymous said...

ekeepnqzkn wxpjrekjze [url=http://lacasadicavour.com/tag/cialis/ ]cialis generico acquisto [/url] sjrcccufpu gcbpgcdpts cialis generico acquisto eoqwqckmwv zwwzgcnwuz

Anonymous said...

En esto algo es yo gusta esta idea, por completo con Ud soy conforme. [url=http://nuevascarreras.com/cialis/ ]cialis 20 mg wikipedia [/url] Molto simili. cialis precio en venezuela

Anonymous said...

S'il vous plaГ®t, racontez plus en dГ©tail. [url=http://www.ci2s.org]achat cialis[/url] Je proteste contre cela. achat cialis generique

Anonymous said...

[url=http://italtubi.com/tag/levitra-online/ ]acquisto levitra online [/url] dqCredo che lei abbia sbagliato. Sono sicuro. Sono in grado di provarlo. comprare levitra

Anonymous said...

Est d'accord, c'est l'information remarquable precoce

Anonymous said...

Est d'accord, c'est la rГ©ponse remarquable acheter cialis achat cialis

Anonymous said...

Diese sehr gute Phrase fällt gerade übrigens viagra viagra kaufen [url=http//t7-isis.org]viagra kaufen[/url]

Anonymous said...

Heute las ich zu diesem Thema viel. viagra rezeptfrei viagra online kaufen [url=http//t7-isis.org]viagra kaufen[/url]

Anonymous said...

remarquablement, le message trГЁs utile http://runfr.com/acheter-cialis cialis generique acheter cialis generique

Anonymous said...

el momento Entretenido http://nuevascarreras.com/tag/cialis/ cialis generico 5 mg Spero che arrivino alla decisione corretta. cialis 5 mg pvp sjtjgewlqq [url=http://www.mister-wong.es/user/COMPRARCIALIS/comprar-viagra/]cialis online[/url]

Anonymous said...

C'est la rГ©ponse prГ©cieuse http://runfr.com/acheter-cialis acheter cialis en belgique acheter viagra en france

Anonymous said...

C'est l'erreur. achat cialis http://runfr.com/tag/10mg cialis 10mg achat cialis sur internet

Anonymous said...

Questo puГІ e deve essere:) per discutere all'infinito [url=http://lacasadicavour.com/tag/tadalafil/ ]cialis 20 mg prezzi [/url]Confermo. Sono d'accordo con tutto quanto sopra-ha detto. Possiamo parlare di questo argomento. Qui, o nel pomeriggio. cialis 20 Desidero parlare con voi, ho qualcosa da dire.

Anonymous said...

http://174.36.152.244/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=7494
http://www.financialdebthelptips.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=87420&p=101030
http://forum.cats-inc.us/index.php/topic,25338.0.html

Anonymous said...

すみません! [url=http://japanese-garden.org]バイアグラ[/url] バイアグラ

Anonymous said...

急いで! [url=http://japanese-garden.org]バイアグラ 服用[/url] バイアグラ 個人輸入

Anonymous said...

ほんとに好きです。 [url=http://japanese-garden.org]バイアグラ 服用[/url] バイアグラ 個人輸入

Anonymous said...

C'est l'idГ©e simplement magnifique [url=http://runfr.com/cialis]acheter cialis tadalafil[/url] http://runfr.com sialis mйdicament pour avoir une erection cialis rapide france cialis effet secondaire

Anonymous said...

La peine perdue. [url=http://runfr.com]viagra generique[/url] http://runfr.com fabricant cialis generique cialis online prix cialis

Anonymous said...

Ce message, est incomparable))), j'aime :) http://runfr.com cialis 20mg prix en pharmacie viagra

Anonymous said...

C'est la convention, ni il est plus grand, ni moins [url=http://runfr.com]viagra en ligne[/url] http://runfr.com cialis effet cialis dysfonction erectile cialis generic

Anonymous said...

Je m'excuse, mais vous ne pourriez pas donner un peu plus information. [url=http://runfr.com/cialis]acheter du cialis[/url] http://runfr.com viagra cialis forum acheter cialis tadalafil

My Fun Stalkers Who Rock