Pulling out my hair!

So, they say you learn a lot in college. They are right. I already learned that I am not as smart as I thought I was. Oh wait,,,,,maybe it was that I need more than three to four hours of sleep a night. Nope, I remember, it was that I have an old brain and it is not cooperating!

All kidding aside, I hit a wall. I spent so much time reading and studying etc this whole last week. There were online assignments due by midnight( I had minutes to spare when I turned them in, thank you), and couple hundred pages to read and remember all the info. Oh, and what was for each class. Heaven forbid I get involved in a class discussion and start discussing the wrong class. Anyway, I have been super busy with working full time, taking a full load of classes etc,,,,,etc,,,, but i thought I was in control of it. I KNEW this material. Heck, I could write you a three page paper on any of the readings I have read. So it was with great confidence that I took my first quiz in one of my classes, looking forward to getting it done so I could continue reading, learning, etc. yeah............you guessed it. FAIL! I only got 6 out of ten! I was and am devastated. I cannot have this. That big whooshing sound you just heard was my confidence leaving me.

I know it is just one quiz, and blah blah blah.....but I knew this material. It was the way the questions were asked and I just didn't see the connections. WHAT NOW!

Well, I am not quiting, just needed to vent. I am so disappointed with myself.

Any really great ways you guys have in taking notes on your readings? I am wondering if maybe the problem was that I read the required reading so far in advance and felt comfortable with it. Maybe I should disregard my rule of not defacing literature and mark up my books with easy to spot ideas, events, etc. Just thinking aloud here people. It may be only 6 points but it is a precedent I do not want to repeat.

All pride is gone so any suggestions for this old (with way old brain) college student, just shout it right out!

Have a better day than me you awesome blog stalkers!

<<<<<>>>>Blurry Vision>>>><<<<>>

Well, this past week of classes has my head spinning. Wondering if working full time, going to school full time, trying to raise an army of kids, volunteering in the community and serving in church is all such a good idea.

AM I CRAZY?

I hope not. I have a goal and I am working toward that goal. But man oh man, the ammount of reading that has to be done just to be able to become involved in the discussions and pass the quizzes is overwhelming. And this is from someone who LOVES to read!

I am finding myself slowly getting better organized and I am setting mini goals and pacing my reading so I do not overload. All in all it is still exciting, but if I said my heart did not skip a beat every now and again because of the load.....I would be lying.

As I write this it is the wee hours of the morning. I am definitely a stranger to my bed and I think I will soon develop permanent bags under my eyes. I may have to start popping caffeine pills to stay awake! lol

no, seriously, I do need drugs........(don't judge me) But not for staying awake. I am going to see my doctor and see what he says. Just need something to help my ADD. I have coping mechanisms but I have way too much on my plate and need to be able to sort and prioritize. Wish me luck.

OFF TO BED!

Have a great day my fellow blogstalkers!

Take your seats

So, as you know, I began the adventure of redefining myself by going back to school. This week has been the first week. AND IT CAN BE A LITTLE OVERWHELMING! lol

All in all after finishing and turning in(it is all turned in on-line) the last of this weeks assignments, I know I can do this.

I know it will not be easy. But if the kid who looks like they just stopped using training wheels on their bike can handle this, so can I gosh darnit!

Taking a full load and working as full time as possible, coupled with the demands of having a large family and being involved with our church, seems absolutely crazy. In fact there are many who know me who may say now they always knew I was. Good thing I am anonymous so nobody can know for sure. lol

So, I contemplated closing this blog this week. It was during one of those moments when I saw everything that had to be done and felt like I had half the time required to actually complete everything. But after finishing this week I want to talk about it.

As a people watcher, campus can be entertaining. Did I ever look that young? I think not. I find the instructors fun to try and decipher as well. Two of them are very enthusiastic and exciting and well, the jury is out on the other two.

So, I am going to try and actually blog more frequently. With the amount of time I have been spending on the laptop, I am going to discipline myself with "blog breaks" to just let off some steam, talk about something weird or funky I've seen or just plain ramble.(kinda like now)

My fellow blogstalkers, what have you started or began recently?

Is it exciting/scary?

What did it take to get to the point of actually starting?

Have a great day Stalkers.

You write the caption!

Should be simple enough, you fill in the caption for this photo. What is going on? Why?

That is for you to tell the rest of us.

BE CREATIVE, and by all means, FUNNY is good too!

Out with the old!

. Well, Happy New Year to all you blog stalkers out there. I have been well wished that 2010 will be a much better year for me and my family, and I sure hope they are right.

But looking back at the year that was 2009 I need to recognize that I had many blessings as well as the struggles and heartache. The majority of all our woes has been monetary. Not to discount the importance of money in our life, but I have been learning a lot about who we really are and what is truly important.

For instance, I didn't think twice before about how many unnecessary expenses I was incurring because I thought I needed something. Even if/when finances get better I think I have learned that there are some things that we can go without if it means being more financially sound.

The biggest thing that I have been reflecting on is credit and how easy everyone throws it around for us. Some things are okay for taking out a line of credit but we(I) have had to learn the hard way that if you do not have the money for something, then you don't get it. I for one had totally been caught up in the "got to have it now" mentality. The hardest lesson was losing our new vehicle when we could not make the payments any longer. I cannot see ever buying a vehicle again, that I do not pay for completely up front.

I also have been confronted point blank with the fact that God loves me and my family. I had never doubted this but have had some tearful reminders of his tender mercies this past year. We have had our share of troubles and I do not make light of them, but through this I have been humbled and know even better what is really important. I have had the opportunity to have my testimony of the Savior grow through having to suck in my pride and allow others to help us. That was/is not easy. I don't even know if those who have helped us even realize how much they have done for us.

A few days before Christmas a package was left on our front porch. It was addressed to our family and each one of us personally had a gift in this package that said from Santa. The gifts were very personal and bring a tear to my eye even as I write this. Not because of what they gave us, which was very nice, but because of what they did. Whomever did this for our family cannot know how much this act made us feel loved and appreciated. I have tried to think of who did this for us and might even be giving away who blogstalker is because they might be reading this, but it has been acts of kindness like this that have been carrying us through these hard times. We have truly had angels here on earth watching out for us and just hope those who have done these things for us know just how much they have done for us, and not just physically but emotionally and spiritually.

So as we discard the year known as 2009 and embrace all that lies ahead in 2010, I hold my head high and that the lord for all that I have and even for all that I have lost. Without sorrow we may never truly know some of the greatest joy. I wish all you blog stalkers out there the very best of new years.

Do not put off til tomorrow what can be done today!

Have a great YEAR!