Okay, I am stepping out of my box just a bit. No, I am not playing some kind of mind or word game but just want to talk frankly.
Life is hard. There, I said it. Anyone want to disagree with that statement? Anyone?
What is interesting is that at every stage I have ever been at in life, that stage had it's problems and there were things I was struggling with. And then, later on, I would look back and realize that I grew because of those struggles or I was not really struggling as much as I had originally thought.
Do any of you find that is the case with you?
I know that problems I am dealing with currently: recent lay off, financial issues, repossession etc are serious and have caused many a sleepless night over the last few weeks especially. My REAL problem? I know that these are none of what really and truly matters. But I cannot convince myself to take things in stride.
I really do believe that we are only here on earth for a short time in eternities time frame. And yet, I cannot get rid of the dark thoughts that insist on intruding into my head. You know the ones; I'm a failure and things would be better if I was just out of the picture. I know better than this and I still cannot completely dispell the sense of failure every time I think of what my family is going without.
I don't really know what direction I am heading....in life or in this blog post......just that I do have a deep conviction that I can deal with whatever is dealt to me. But because
I realize that I have only fallen half way down to where I am certainly heading, I dread the day to day.
Add having to deal with all that still has to be dealt with (schools asking for more and more money for kids activities for example) it is daunting. With a steady but underpaid job I am kept busy and that is good, but there are those moments when everything is off at night...........It is a madness....
Thank goodness for the ipod.......I do not know what I would do if I could not fill the silence and keep out the dread.
Well, enough venting I suppose. Thanks for visiting the blog and hopefully we will keep up more regularly with y'all.
So by the way, how did you like the guest blogger recently? I thought it was a great success and hope to have her back. If anyone has other ideas for guest bloggers, let me know.
Have a great day stalkers!
12 comments:
guest blogger was great. More guests to fill in during your busy times would be fabulous!
Sorry for the hard times. I bet your family isn't doing w/o as much as you might think. People matter, not things. Take care and keep the faith. One day at a time, one step at a time. You can do it!
funny... we always have to go "through" our trials. often times I think of trials as a big boulder. And imagine drilling THROUGH that boulder... wouldn't it just be easier to climb over or walk around? but you never hear anyone say "go around your trials" or "go over trials". Everyone always has to "go THROUGH trials". so, yes... hard work. But "after the tribulation comes the blessings"... I hate not being able to see the end from the beginning. I hate that *I* am not in control of EVERYTHING in my life sometimes. It is easy to get down. I think that is why I love to blog... that is why I love my friends, my family, and of course my savior. Going "THROUGH" the trials is HARD WORK... but imagine having helping hands, extra "drillers"... this is what my friends and family, and of course the Lord has done for me... and sometimes He is the ONLY one that can help us get THROUGH.
and often times, getting THROUGH the trials means we get a little sore or bruised or quite frankly TIRED!!! and we come out with a little "trial residue" on our face. But reaching that light at the end of the tunnel is such a great feeling.
and I too would be LOST without my iPod... LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having been thru various rough patches - including joblessness, serious surgeries, deaths in the family, etc. - in our 35 years together, I guess the best advice I can give you is "this too shall pass". They are SO difficult to deal with when we're in the middle of them since we can't see the forest for the trees, but in hindsight we can see where they've been 'proving grounds' for the Lord, letting us see how He cared for us and carried us thru them, or how they were huge learning experiences. So I'll say the same to you...you may not see how, but you WILL come thru this. Maybe not richer, but much, much wiser. (((((HUG)))))
I know all things will pass and then we'll be on to something else, but when you are in the middle of it, it honestly seems like there is no end and nothing could be worse. Of course if you really thought about it, it could be worse. But not at the moment. Sorry I'm not more chipper with vast words of wisdom. I can totally relate to being in the middle of crap with no end in sight, although there really is in the big picture.
When I go through a storm, and manage to struggle out to the sunshine, I find, looking back, the journey has made me stronger. But I also know in the midst it is often hard to see the way out. So I say to you, do not EVER give up, hold hope ALWAYS in your heart, love those close in your life and believe you can get through this and things will work out. Keeping you in my thoughts.
I love the message just above mine. Very true indeed. And I agree that music, for me also, gets me through.
**Hugs**
I saw a comment you posted on a blog that you stalk and was quite disappointed that you don't stalk my blog too. So here I am, beating you at your own game by stalking you first. take that! ;)
HI Dear friend I always enjoy your posts. But loose my way often return. YOU GOT A BUTTON? I have to look.
Sometimes those challenges help your grow from experience and help others too. Thats the best part. I hate with the storms happening and pray for the sun to shine again. its about the best annalogy(sp?) I can come up with. I'll have to go see if I can find that guest post. Take care and visit again soon HUGS
The pendulum swings, Blogstalker! This time shall pass and, hopefully, all the adversities will make you wiser and stronger because you're not going to go down and down and wish to fade out!
You are not alone! Millions are having to deal with the same but it doesn't mean they're failures. It's the other way around! The system has failed the people! There's lots of money out there but not evenly distributed due to greed. It's not that misery loves company; sharing one another's tribulations is healthy! Venting about it is healing! Stay open for help and support during these trying times, Blogstalker! You'll get through it! And stronger for it!
I never heard this song by Satriani, but I love it! Satriani will always remind me of my brother who died of cancer. He played his music all of the time! Yes, he was that good! :))
Your post was heart-wrenching. And the honesty is SO refreshing.
And I'm with you -- can anyone disagree that life is hard -- even if just at times?
It just simply is.
I have to believe, though, that there is a day coming (maybe years from now, but still) when this will all seem like a distant memory. Granted, a memory you may not want to remember, but it will be "back there" in the distance.
Hard to believe and grasp now, I'm sure.
Keep sharing so honestly. It is good for all.
"A shared joy is twice the joy. A shared burden is half the burden."
:)
Ruth
The hard times are the ones that you will look back on and know you've grown from. I've had 2 repossessions, my husbands lay off, bankruptcy, in the last year, and soon a foreclosure. I know that these will all work themselves out, and it brings your true friends to the top, fo rthey are the ones that support you through these times. It's hard to see now, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. For now dance and sing your way through the darkness, fo rit is the sound of your voice that may guide others.
http://lifemusiclaughter.blogspot.com
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